Tuesday, January 08, 2008

The Hot Club

Sunday night the lights weren't on out front of the Hot Club. I thought that was odd but parked anyway. There was a sign on the front door that the Hot Club was closed. Disappointed, I started to walk back to my car. Then I heard Eben and Sarah calling from the deck. They told me that the Club was closed for the annual HC employees' party. Then Eben asked if I wanted to come in and join them. I was thrilled and honored to be with this august group.

Other than that I can't tell you anything that went on at the party because my lips are sealed. Or will be if I say anything that can b e misconscrewed. But there are pictures out there. That I can tell you.

Well I can tell you that Eben had a great party CD with a lot of booty shaking songs. Eben is into George Clinton and Parliament/Funkadelic.

And Lauren made some terrific chili that had good heat to it because of the habaneros and jalapenas she used. My understanding is that all the food was good. I only had chili.

And someone (Eben and Tom I think) fished a monkey out of the water near the Hot Club. It was a huge stuffed monkey and there are pictures to prove it.

Scoop of the Year: Brittan Bates told me that she has met the man of her dreams and is engaged to be married. The young man's name is Todd Manni and I met him Sunday night. My best wishes for a lifetime of love, good health and children (if they so desire).

Met a friend of Beau's named Levon, who was wearing a shirt with all 16 championship Celtics banners on it. I asked him if there was room for a 17th and Levon said there was.

Levon's buddy TP is a big San Francisco 49ers fan. So I suggested to TP that the Patriots would be willing to trade that #1 pick they got from SF for their rookie linebacker Patrick Willis. This suggestion was not to TP's liking. He called Willis 'the franchise'.

The Wizard and Bags were busting me about standing in the rain during the Jets- Patriots game. I told Beau that a lot of guys don't like to go to the Patriots' games, preferring the comfort of their living rooms. Beau said those guys were "Girly Men".

Talking with Josh (not Miller, but the HC chef), I noted that we used to stand up in church and pledge not to see any movies on the Legion of Decency's list of B (Morally Objectionable) or C (Condemned) movies. Dr. No was the first B movie I ever saw. Josh said his mom used to work as a secretary for the Providence Visitor, which ran the list.

Mr. D. and I have always said that the Hot Club is like the Hotel California - you can check out but you can never leave. We have seen regulars and employees leave over the lifetime of Sportzine and the Hot Club section. And they always seem to return. Sandy said she was leaving but filled in recently. Tom the Actor/Chef has been spotted. Derek and Leo have stopped by. The Pixie, the Poet of Providence, Megan and the Caustic Cutie have all resurfaced.

Here are some names of one-time regulars who haven't been around. Remember them?

Dot.com ME The Falcon Ramrod Bob Blue Cross Bill Dumpster Dolly Biker Bob
Cementhead Smurf Melinda Phil on the Grill The Shack

Here are some nicknames of Guys and Dolls who have helped make the HC what it is.

Burger King Baby Photo Genic Irish The Inspector The Silencer
Sable Siren Girl With A Hurl CC Rider Melina

Kanary Pops Roberto Weasel Consigliere No Penetration
Punchy Fightin' SeaBee K Man

Stories that linger on in the memory banks

The Poet of Providence's story on 4 HC Regulars Rats on the Deck
Black BVDs on the Men's Room Floor The Men's Room Expansion
Who Picks the Sports Shown on the Hot Club TVs?
If Wise Buys A Radio Station 2 New Shows-Minglin' With Mario and Fishin' With Fredo


On What's Required of Women (by Men) at the Hot Club:
"8 to 80. Blind, crippled or crazy. Not dead over a week." (Buff Steve)
"2 to toothless." (Mr. D.)

At my St. Patrick's party, my mom sees Bags with Mike Solomon and she asks me:
"Is that Mike's bodyguard?"

"Don't argue with me while I'm arguing with myself." (Contraire)

"What if Little V is taking it, but really doesn't have a girlfriend." (The Warden)

"So how married are you?" (Ming the Merciless)

"So with all the makeup on, I asked her if she was going to the circus." (Punchy)

"I'm Italian. I don't need it." (The Warden)

"Look into my eyes." (Guess who?)

"No I don't need a drink, but I'll take the cash." (Hooks)

And finally thanks to all the Hot Club regulars and employees who have made this possible, especially Tom, Eben (and Sarah), and Brittan Bates, Josh Miller, Mike Solomon (who gave me my first ad and then got me two more), as well as the love and support from Victoria, Cara, my Mom, my brother Brad (and Dee Dee), Chris DeSessa Paul Beaudette and everyone who has had a kind word over the years. And thanks to Terry Nau, Sports Editor of the Pawtucket Times (and Woonsocket Call) for mentioning Sportzine in a 2007 column.


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