Tuesday, January 24, 2006

The Hot Club

Contraire, whom I haven't seen in awhile, said to me, "You're very knowledgeable. You can answer this question." So he had Brittan ask me the question: "Is there a law that you have to file taxes." So I said, "Yes."
Contraire immediately disagreed with me, and said, "You don't know what you're talking about. I know plenty of guys that haven't filed taxes." Naturally Contraire knows them. And if those "guys that haven't filed taxes" get caught, they'll be in big legal trouble.

About the time I told Mr. D. about Mr. Contraire's "question", Contraire came over to continue his counterattack. Mr. D. said, "As soon as you answered the first question, you were done."

Hooks was telling us all that the reason his significant Susan wasn't around was that she had gone to her nephew's "acid rock concert" in Boston. In sync, the Wise Man and Wild Bill asked Hooks if he had been invited. "No", he admitted. Foot Joy then asked Hooks, "Would you have gone if you dropped acid?"

A Naked City story: A guy asks a woman why she's messing around with a married man when she could be going out with him. He offers to give her his phone number. She replies, "I already have it: 1-800-Ass-Hole."

Corinna of Covina told me that Johnson & Wales' nickname used to be the Griffins. Now it's the Wildcats. I think I like Griffins a heck of a lot better. And Griffins would wipe out Wildcats.

Mike Module fixed my car radio. Now he's just repaired Mr. D.'s amplifier. If you need any electronics equipment fixed, you can contact Mike the Module Mechanic at this e-mail.

The Warden looked up at the sports on the HC TV and said, "I want less sports and more porn on TV." And the Warden said Mike K got a call from Zsa Zsa and she's helping his return to health.

Lovely Lisa was telling us that her mother's birthday was coming up (Feb. 5). When we told her that that was Super Bowl Sunday, LL said, "She'll have to wait a week."

Lisa showed us she could whistle. One wag offered that she could get crackerjacks at Fenway Park with that whistle. I said she could get more than that. Mr. D. recalled Lauren Bacall's advice to Bogart on how to whistle: "You just put your lips together and blow."

Our sincere condolences to Kevin, whose mother just passed away. It's never easy when a parent leaves us.

MOVIE REVIEWS - HOSTEL ('05)

This is very gory, very graphic and very good. The writer/director is Eli Roth who was born in Boston. Roth's first film was Cabin Fever in '02. While I liked Cabin Fever, this movie is much better. Some young bucks head to a hostel in the Czech Republic, in pursuit of babes and bacchanalia. They get that and much more.

The movie evokes memories of The Most Dangerous Game (1932). But Hostel goes for the jugular when its hostile 'hunters' extract their pounds of flesh. In graphic close-ups. This film is not for the squeamish. But it delivers the goods - severe shocks to the sensory system. Horror fans will not be disappointed. The FX are by KNB, one of the best.

The film was shot in Prague, the Czech Republic. A lot of the male extras are beefy, brutal-looking behemoths. The women are beautiful, including director Roth's girlfriend, Barbara Nedeljakova, who plays Natalya.

We meet Oli, the King of Swing, plus a Dutchman who likes to work with his hands, and street kids who want a handout. We're also taught a lesson on the importance of learning another language. Quentin Tarantino lent a hand. Hostel should be a big hit. My daughter Cara said it was sold out when she went and so she saw Wolf Creek instead. Cara did not like Wolf Creek, which she found slow at first and then 'disgusting'. But I'll save my thoughts until I see it.

A visit to the Hostel website at IMBd.com revealed this: "Eli Roth asked the President of Iceland for an official pardon for making Icelanders look like drunken sex maniacs with the character of Oli. The president laughed and gave Roth the pardon, saying it represented a side of Icelanders not shown in movies."

The Showcase Cinema where I saw Hostel (North Attleboro, MA.) had a poor soundtrack that interfered at times with hearing the dialogue. I considered complaining but having paid $3.50 as a senior discount, I let it go. Interestingly, all the previews were of the horror genre - V for Vendetta, Final Destination 3, When A Stranger Calls (a re-make), Hard Candy and See No Evil.
Talk about target marketing!

Read the following only after seeing the movie:
In an interview at Horrorchannel.com, Eli Roth was asked where the idea for Hostel came, Roth replied:
"I’ll tell you where it started. It started with a conversation with Ain’t It Cool News’ Harry Knowles. Harry and I were talking about sick stuff we’d seen on the Internet, like that the guy in Texas who set it up so you could control a gun and hunt lions and wild game online. The FBI had shut this guy down. I think his legal defense was that he was making it so handicapped people could hunt, too. It was so f--ked up (laughs).

I thought, 'Jesus. Why wouldn’t they just put a human being in a room?” and Harry said, “Well, actually I found something like that' and he sent me a link to a site where you could go to Thailand and for ten thousand dollars, walk into a room and shoot somebody in the head.

The site claimed that the person you were killing had signed up for it and that part of the money would go to their family because they were so broke and were gonna die anyways. It was to give you the thrill of taking another human life. So we said, “Is this Bullshit? Is this real?” it looked real. But you know what, it doesn’t matter. Whether this place exists or not is not important."

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