Tuesday, August 08, 2006

The Hot Club

Jesse showed Jane the reference to her in last week's Zine. She was all dressed up and had her hair down. She looked smashing and even prettier than usual. Jane admitted that she didn't think she looked so pretty with her hair up. Jane agreed with Mr. D. that she does have good posture, and she added that her penmanship is fine too.

Fiery Fan (FF) was upset when Mike Timlin gave up the lead in the 8th Wednesday night. FF thought Papelbon should have been in. FootJoy, Wise and I tried to explain that Timlin was the right move (save Papelbon for the 9th so you can use him again), but Fiery was having none of it. I told him that everyone fails and asked him who his favorite hitter was. "Ted Williams", he said. I told him mine too and Ted was the last player to hit .400 (.406 in 1941). So one of the greatest hitters in baseball failed to get a hit 60% of the time. FF grumbled that you can't compare a hitter to a pitcher. I threw sand on that idea.

Wise had a crick in his neck. I told him to use moist heat on it. Mr. D. said that in the old days you'd use Ben Gay. Mr. D. said "Ben Gay should have had a hemorrhoid product".

Foot Joy and I were discussing how to explain the use of multiple remotes for the TV and cable/satellite to our loved ones. One time Foot Joy said he was explaining to his grandmother how to use the remote to get the channel she wanted. He was giving her instructions over the phone. He heard the phone go beep, beep, beep and said, "Grandma, not the phone. The remote."

A woman walked by with a T-shirt that read "Wake Up and Smell the Couture".

The Fashion Police spotted a yahoo wearing yellow heels on the deck. Fashion faux pas.

We were talking supermarkets past. Someone said an owner wanted his son to take over. The son, who was gay, didn't want to run it. FootJoy said, "He wanted the floral section."

Overheard at the Hot Club: "She doesn't like you? That's Strike One." Response: "I didn't say she didn't like me. I said she didn't like meat."

Foot Joy pointed out that at some point Javy Lopez will throw to Javy Lopez.

Chuck D Computer and I were talking about Scientologists like Tom Cruise. I said, "Yeah, I want to belong to a religion started by a mediocre sci-fi writer named L. Ron Hubbard. Chuck told me to check out the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Go to http://www.venganza.org/

Wes Craven (Last House on the Left, The People Under the Stairs, A Nightmare on Elm Street) did the original and left the blueprint for Alexandre Aja's recent remake.

Both Hills tell the tale of a middle class family, the Carters, who meet a different kind of nuclear family in the southwest desert. You know - a wrong turn. The wrong place at the wrong time. The set-up has been copied many times.

In the original, the Carters are up against Papa Jupe (James Whitworth), his children Pluto (the remarkable Michael Berryman), Mars (Lance Gordon) and Mercury (Arthur King), their Mama (Cordie Clark) and 'adopted' daughter Ruby (Janus Blythe).

Alexandre Aja uses the same character names for the Carter family that Craven used. But Aja's fallout family that attack the Carters are totally different from Cravens (with the exception of Ruby). I make this point because Aja plays up the nuclear testing and fallout angle and its effects on the deformed family that savages the Carters. Aja's remake uses old footage of a series of nuclear blasts and tests that are both awesome and awful to behold. That alone is worth the price of admission for the '06 version.

My daughter Cara bought me Aja's version for my birthday and I wasn't disappointed. It is a lot gorier than Craven's original but almost as good. And the jolts and shocks come from places different than in Craven's. So it holds up well and is a fitting do-over.

One quibble on the '06 version though. Because Aja has used the radiation-deformed aspect, his freak family is more mutant monster than Craven's human monsters. In returning to view the Craven film, I found that better than Aja's horde of hideous horrors.


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