The Hot Club

Just a reminder for Super Bowl fans, Mike Solomon invites all Sportzine readers to the annual "Wes' Rib House Super Bowl Party" Sunday night to watch the big game. Wes’ Rib House is at 38 Dike St. in Providence (421-9090). The Super Bowl starts at 6PM. There is a free buffet at half time for anyone who is at Wes’ before the game starts. So stop on by and feast on ribs, chicken and other incredible edibles while watching The Game. And tell’em Sportzine sent you.

Fleet Feet Pete came into the Hot Club and said, “It’s dead.” I said, “But you’re alive. We’re alive. It’s all good.”

The Man on Fire said “Happy New President’s Day.” We all wanted to celebrate that.

Someone (the Bear, Glenn Live It Up?) said that when the helicopter was taking George W. Bush away, the crowd began singing the Steam song Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye. Word is that Keith Olbermann and Rachel Maddow were leading the singers.

Listening to Little Feat on the jukebox doing a version of Dixie Chicken. Got to see Little Feat and Lowell George way back when they did the album with jello on the front. Fleet Feet Pete liked the version of Fat Man in the Bathtub which is on Waiting For Columbus. I said the irony was that Lowell George reportedly died in a bathtub of too much drugs and alcohol. Googling (Wikipedia) shows that Lowell George died 6/29/79 in a Marriott hotel in Arlington, VA of a massive heart attack. There were no drugs nor alcohol involved, and it appears he was not found in the bathtub.

According to Fleet Feet Pete, another Murphy’s Law or Murphyism:
“Hell hath no fury like a lawyer on a contingency fee.”

The juke box was playing an ABBA hit. I mentioned that at one time, ABBA had sold more albums worldwide than even the Beatles. Not anymore. A Google search indicates that ABBA sold over 370 million worldwide while the Beatles sold over a billion.

Kirk Feather was reminiscing about a trip to Field’s Point (circa 1969) when he was to be inducted into the armed services. A Marine sergeant asked everyone to fill out a form which asked if you ever belonged to any Communist-influenced organizations like the Maryknolls, Sisters of Mercy, the Friends of Quakers, any Episcopal group, et al. Some 20 sordid organizations. When Kirk asked about some of the organizations listed, the sergeant told him “Sign the blank form kid!” He did. The military didn’t induct him.

The Hot Club

Frequent Flyer said that his dog ate all the candy in the Christmas stocking and Santa had a restocking fee.

Pucky says he uses udder balm on his hands in the winter.

Early last Wednesday, I sent an e-mail to the ‘Wednesday Wevelers’ asking them to consider showing up at the Hot Club on Wednesday nights. When I arrived last Wednesday night, Frequent Flyer was there. Mike Module was there. Buffalo Steve was there. And then Pucky came in. Around the time I was feeling good about sending out the request for company, each of the guys revealed that they had not seen my e-mail.

And there’s music on Wednesdays as Steve Hodge and Jeff Maher played last week. Acoustic. Jackson Browne, James Taylor stuff. A good cross section. So come on down to the Hot Club on Wednesdays. You never know what or who you’re going to find on a Wednesday night. And if you don’t care to see me, Patti and Lisa are easy on the eyes.

Augie told me that 50 Cent invested $5 million on ‘smart water’ like Glaceau, Vitamin water, etc. 50 Cent made $100 million off his $5 million when the company was sold.

Lizzie, the bartender on Monday nights, was wearing some skin hugging pants that had many metal buttons on the front. She admitted that it was a problem when you had to go to the bathroom. Mike Module suggested she needed Velcro.

Going to a strip club is like paying your taxes. Why’s that? You’re just throwing money away. The speaker has asked for no attribution.

Overheard at the Hot Club: If you can’t go to a strip club and get screwed, where can you go?

Frequent Flyer was returning from Virginia on US Airways. His company makes laser ink T shirts so you can make up unique shirts on the spur of the moment. Chesney Sullenberger had just safely landed that US Air jet in the Hudson River. FF wanted to wear (and distribute to the crew) shirts that said, Sully’s in control or Sully’s on board.

Or how about Scully up front. Is Scully driving this bus?

Those Canadian geese that got sucked into the plane’s engines – Fleet Feet Pete said there must have been a lot of guano. I wondered if we could sue Canada.

The Hot Club

Much of the Hot Club talk lately has been about the change in hours – the HC now opens at 4 PM every day, including Saturdays and Sundays. The winter months tend to be slow and with the economy down, attendance is also down (excepting most of the Regulars). The change reduced shifts from 28 to 16. Word is that the situation will be re-addressed in a few months when the weather turns better.

Pucky told me that there is one Chinese restaurant in Burrillville. I told him that he was lucky to have one. The Warden said that the Chinese restaurant is probably owned by Italians.

They tell me that if you call Bags now, both he and Tina are on the message.

Jokin’ Joe says he had a parent who referred to his son as having HUHA disease. That’s Head Up His Ass. But the parent assured Joe that he’d take it out.

The Warden wolfed down a hamburger. I said, “You either liked that or you were very hungry.” The Warden replied, “It’s magic. I made a hamburger disappear.”

Jokin’ Joe said that the original rappers were the pirates who used to sing “Yo ho ho…” Joe said that unlike today’s rappers, the pirates did not grab their crotches because they had hooks for hands.

Sunday night was dance music at the Hot Club – Sly and the Family Stone, the Stylistics, et al. Big Kenny and Wise were showing off their dance moves.

Wise says that NSA means No Strings Attached.

Foot Joy says we need the death penalty for parking violators – decrease the number of people. Less mouths to feed I guess.

Foot Joy said to check out the website baseballtraderumors.com. Then Foot Joy yelled into my machine, “FJ also says that farting once in a while will help your digestive system.”