Tuesday, July 19, 2005

The Hot Club

Contraire was sitting at the bar when I had to move my car. I left my beer glass next to him and asked him to watch it. When I came back, the glass was gone. He watched it all right. He watched Ondine take it away. Later Contraire bought me a beer.

Mike Ganis (The Crier) e-mailed to say that Contraire was correct about the odds of winning lotteries. Said Mike: "Your odds of winning huge in a lottery such as Powerball are 1 in 120,526,770 no matter how many people play. Likewise, the Mega Millions odds remain 1 in 135,145,920. If you’re going to throw away $5 on lottery tickets, you might want to wait until the jackpot climbs to $200 million from $10 million…A bigger jackpot means more people playing and a higher probability of having to share the prize."

Jack the Fireman saw Mark Bellhorn at bat on the TV screen. But he called him Bellbottom. Wise and I broke into Bellbottom Blues.

Joey from Bowie (Texas) popped in with her friend Rob. She just got a job managing a restaurant in Boston's North End. Good luck to Joey in her new work.

There are two new spotlight bulbs in the Hot Club men's room. It's so bright you need sunglasses. The first story I heard was that it was because two guys were doing lines in the bathroom. But later I heard it might be because the two guys were doing each other.

Frequent Flyer's friend Joanne left her purse on the table next to my chair. I was kidding her about rifling through it. She told me "take my money but leave my lipstick."

Later Joanne introduced her friend Donna who just bought a BMW. Donna bought it and hubby picked it up. The Beamer has a tape player but no CD player! Who's to blame?

Mr. D. and I were telling Mike Module about Lloyd Bridges' old TV show Sea Hunt. "And then I cut his air hose", said Mr. D. I checked the new sourcebook Mr. D. got for my birthday (TV Guide's Guide to TV). The original Sea Hunt was on from 1957-1961.

There was no parking Wednesday night in HC's parking lot. They had paved it! Mr. D. told Obasie and me, "The drink prices are going up!"

Cal was at Pro Player Park in Miami. They wouldn't let him tour the place because he was alone, not part of a group. Mr. D., who has led the last few WSKO The Score's Pats' trips to Miami, recalled a brutally hot day when Pro Player ran out of water. Said Perfessa D., "How do you run out of water? You flunked Lesson #1 of Sports Facilities 101."

The Warden just enjoyed a birthday (6/15) and this week it is Hooks' turn (7/22).

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Victoria took this at Turtles, Siesta Key, FL. (6/05)
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Tuesday, July 12, 2005

The Hot Club

Hooks was at the HC with his new girlfriend Cat Woman. She has a 22-pound cat named Malcolm. Hooks met Malcolm recently and the cat wasn't friendly. So we figure that every time Hooks tries to get cozy with Cat Woman, Malcolm will be there to meddle. I said it would make a good situation comedy. Wise called it "Malcolm in the Middle."

Wise was saying how notorious Hooks is for keeping the house temp at 65º even during winter. Cat Woman said she liked it warm. Hooks told her, "Two words: buy sweaters." Cat Lady laughed and said that would change. Mr. Bill told her, "You need some training here." Cat Woman promised that the heat would go up. I said, "Hooks will melt."

Overheard in the HC men's room: "Best toilets. Worst space." Best toilets???

Talked to Mr. Contraire about the odds of winning the state lottery. I thought that the more people in the lottery (like for mega millions), the worse the chance of winning. Contraire insisted that the odds don't change because the same number of numbers is needed to win each time. This is a question that The Crier could answer. Astrosmike?

At Thursday's PawSox game I ran into Dale and his friend U Maine John who have Bob Uecker seats - front row, Section 9 (the red seats). The Maine Man asked me if I knew how you could tell a blind man in a nudist colony? His answer, "Oh, it's not hard."

And Section 8's Dale and Donna told me that they recently visited the Hot Club deck. Dale said, "It could use a little varnish."

Beau introduced me to a young lovely named Adrian: "Isn't she beautiful?" he said. Later Adrian was overheard talking about "7 nipples." Her girlfriend said, "She's into litters."

Mr. D. was packing a lot of ones. A guy who saw him buy a round asked Mr. D. "Strip club?" Yup. Mr. D. said he went to the ATM and took out 100 ones.

The Lovely Lisa was inadvertently left off the list of potential pulchritude for a Hot Club calendar. Lisa should know we would never leave her out. She wants to be Miss April.

Wise said that Kevin has a new nickname: "Commercial-free W-KEV."

Thanks to Steve and Chuck D. ('I'm an expert on mouse balls') for helping to get my mouse back to going left.

Brock was at his best: "Hi, my name is Pat. Pat McGroin." And to Mr. D., "Hey, he's nuts. Grab 'em."

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

The Hot Club

Two guys visited the HC - Carol and Clay. They wanted to go to a strip club but wanted to touch. So Mr. D. suggested Club Fantasies. Clay went to ASU in Tempe, AZ. We told him about a great strip club in Phoenix called BombShells owned by a friend of ours.

Overheard from the stall in the men's room (the HC men's room has urinals so close you can hold…), Guy A: "Don't piss on me." Guy B: "Don't grab my ass."

Chuck D. Computer just came back from Harrisburg. He went to a bar that he frequents when in town. Chuck asked the bartender if Woman X still visited the place. The bartender told him, "Not since she went to the Big House."
Then Chuck remembered some gifts he got from 'X'. The gifts were small things, made out of sterling and such. They were all pocket size.

Mr. D. said a young woman once offered to show him the 'ring on her thing'. He thought that would be a good song title. "Ring on my Thing", ring-a-ding-ding. A little Frank Sinatra. "You make me sing."

Our friend Victor explained that he was leaving because "something has arose". He corrected himself - "something has arisen". Mr. D. told him, "You arose."

The Lou went to the Sox game. He called everyone on his cell and was on TV. I asked him what team the Sox played - he didn't know. It was the Pirates.

The Lou said he has worked for Wise 20 years. He said Wise's favorite saying is "What did I tell you!" Every year at Christmas, Wise tells him "You drive me crazy" and threatens to fire him.

Two guys looked out over the deck scene Friday. One observed, "You've got to be patient. It's like fishing."

Best wishes to Erica K who stopped by and visited with Mr. D and me.

Tom Bates stopped by the HC. At one point Josh Miller walked in and was standing there with Tom. It was one of the few times that I've seen the two owners together.

Tom has helped other bars get started, like Nick-a-Nee's. Mr. D. told Tom, "You're the Godfather of nightclubs."