Tuesday, May 30, 2006

The Hot Club

First the corrections - Hooks said that was vodka, not scotch, that Josh bought him. And Josh had paid for the drinks of women from Hospitality not the Chamber of Commerce. But I was correct in saying that the drink was in a shot glass. Ah, Josh that joker.

We were watching the Sox game at the HC and the AFLAC duck commercial with Yogi Berra came on. I told Foot Joy that I always laugh when they show it. He does too. Then he noted an oddity-Yogi's getting his haircut with his glasses on. Somehow I missed that.

Erica said that I had to write something about Bags' tan. She called it a 'mystic tan'. So I asked Bags if it's a 'tanning booth' tan. He said "No, it's 'our good weather' tan." "Yup, tanning booth," I concluded.

5 Angels is not happy with the current state of Major League Baseball. Prima donna players, high ticket prices. I brought up Barry Bonds. 5 Angels said, "He couldn't shine Babe Ruth's shoes."

The ORick was talking about an unpleasant, unhappy woman that we both know. He said, "If she won the lottery, she'd complain about paying the taxes."

We were talking about growing up during the threat of nuclear war and the 'Duck and cover' days. Gusto, discussing a bountiful beauty said, "If you put her on a flatbed and aimed her toward Moscow, the Russians would get nervous."

Overheard at the Hot Club (re people whose waists expand): "They have Dunlop disease. Done lopped over their waist." And they call it "Muffin tops".

Was talking with a couple who shall go unnamed. We were talking about backpacking, and I mentioned that the Bear and I backpacked through Europe one year. The guy said of his female friend, "She backpacked in Europe too. She went to Europe and bought a backpack."

I was telling someone about 'Psychotronic' movies (weird, crazy, edgy films). The person thought I said 'Psychotropic.' Ah, no. That's heavy-duty psychiatric medication.

Two women, came in wearing straw hats and summer dresses. I said, "Here are two definite divas." Mr. D. said, "What? Was there a sale on hats?"

Welcome to new deck worker Kathryn who was wearing red shoes - clogs or sneakers.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

The Hot Club

By 8:45 PM on Sunday nights, all the regulars but this one have left the Hot Club. It's like clockwork or the German train system. Why have they left by 8:45? The Sopranos starts at 9:00.

Sandy's hubby Mike dropped by the Hot Club. He told me that he left his job bartending at the BrewPub (Trinity). When I told him that I had retired, Mike said, "I'm sort of retired now." Sandy said to him, "Not for long."

Overheard at the Hot Club: "She's got a balcony you could do Shakespeare on."

Frequent Flyer was talking about his boat and someone asked me if I liked sailboats. I said that I'd probably fall off of it and drown. Chuck D piped up, "When you fly a plane you don't pilot it." Nor would I fall off of it.

So I was telling Victor and Patty that when I was supposed to be taking swimming lessons at the Boys' Club, I shot pool and played Ping-Pong. The Boys' Club had a rule that you had to swim naked. I did it once, was uncomfortable and never did it again. Never learned to swim either.

Yet I was able to make Eagle Scout and that required swimming a couple laps. So when I had to do the same in the Air Force I wasn't worried. Until they told me I had to tread water for a minute. I almost drowned. When I reached the pool ladder, the lifeguard said. "I was just coming in for you."

Mr. D. and I were talking to Armando about his new romantic comedy. At some point Gone With The Wind was mentioned. I noted that GWTW and The Wizard of Oz were directed by the same man - Victor Fleming.

Mr. D. said Gone With The Wind was too long. I'll say. It was 222 minutes long. I said that it should have ended with "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn."

Hooks told me that Foot Joy got way too much ink last week. So I told Hooks he had 'ink envy'. Then I reminded him he was mentioned in the same issue. "I was?" he asked.

Breaking News: Josh bought Bags a drink. Well, after Josh bought drinks for 4 women from the Chamber of Commerce, Bags busted Josh with "I've been bringing my liver here for 23 years, Don't I get a drink?" So Josh bought Bags a scotch. In a shot glass.

Welcome back to Erica who just recently had her first child, a baby girl named Ella.

According to the gossip gals at the Boston Herald's Inside Track (5/23), John 'Red' Shea, a South Boston mobster is the "guy who blew the whistle on Whitey Bulger's gay three-way with a Southie bookie and '60s Hollywood heartthrob Sal Mineo." Shea's autobiography is called Rat Bastards.


My daughter Cara had seen this film and didn't like it at all. She found it very slow and then when the action started was bothered by the torture scenes.

So I rented it and Cara's take on the film was pretty right on. Wolf Creek is an Aussie movie directed by Greg McLean. The Aussie accents are tough to understand at times, but especially at the outset when you are getting used to them.

The movie is slow with not much happening until about 53 minutes into the 104-minute running time. The exposition isn't bad and the photography by Will Gibson is actually quite good. However it does take too long to develop and the movie is lacking one key element of Psychotronic movies: black humor when the sick stuff arrives.

When the terrorizing begins, it is relentless and ugly. There are no moments of sick humor to relieve the horror of the torture. In fact, director McLean seems to revel in the torture scenes. While he has a good villain in John Jarratt (Mick), the mood is one of slow, methodical, unstoppable doom. It reminded me of I Spit On Your Grave (with Buster Keaton's grandniece Camille) which also has a similar humorless quality in its descent into depravity.

The other problem with this movie is that the 3 main characters, Ben, Liz and Kristy, are dumb as doornails. Films of this sort require suspension of disbelief. However when the characters continue to make mindless mistakes in their attempts 'to get away', then the audience is left in disbelief at their actions. In order not to give away any plot elements, I'll only say that the worst moments revolve around vehicles and the keys to them.

Oh and the ending is one of the dumbest and most unbelievable I've ever witnessed.

Can't recommend this effort to the readership. There are far better offerings available.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

The Hot Club

While I was talking to Brock, a strange woman walked up and began warbling some song to Brock. The woman looked something like Bettie Page.

So I asked Foot Joy if he knew Bettie Page. A movie on her life (The Notorious Bettie Page) is about to come out. Bettie was a nude pinup model who also did some fetish (leather/chains) photos in the '50's. We also discussed Betty Boop. Foot Joy thought Betty Boop was based on Bettie Page but I told him Betty Boop was much earlier.

So I 'Googled' the subjects. Max Fleischer (who also was responsible for Popeye) created Betty Boop around 1930. Betty Boop was a cartoon-like character with slinky dresses, a visible garter belt and plunging neckline. During the movies Hays Era (read censorship), Betty lost the garter, got buttoned up and lost her horny suitors.

Bettie Page has her own website. She's probably in her '80's now. There was no evidence of the kinky fetish photos on her web site (naturally). But you could find them with Google. Bettie's '50's pinups were sexy but not sleazy. Clean sex (you had to be around).

Hooks told us, "They did my carpets. Spotless!" I asked him, "Your house or your car?" Louisiana Steve said, "Probably both."

Our own dear Charlotte who has been missing from the Hot Club scene for some time, ventured in. She closely examined the hands of one of the Hot Club regulars and then asked him, "Do you work?"

Foot Joy read my piece about Red Sox uniform numbers. I told him that one reader (see E-Mail) reminded me that Jason Varitek originally wore #47 before switching to #33. Foot Joy said that because Manny wears #24 that when Dewey Evans came back as the BoSox hitting instructor, Evans had to wear #25.

Contraire told me that Sandy said she was a Red Sox fan but couldn't name 3 of their players. So I asked Sandy and she said Contraire asked her whether she rooted for NY or Boston. When she said the Red Sox, he demanded she name 3 players. Sandy admitted that going to nursing school has prevented her from seeing any games this year. Sandy is one semester from becoming a RN. Way to go, Sandy!

Overheard at the Hot Club: "Where does Kevin Uterus play? (Mike K.). Foot Joy responded, "Up the middle."

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

The Hot Club

Standing on the Hot Club deck on a beautiful Friday at 5 PM, the crowd was a steady flow, ebbing back and forth. It was a moveable feast. Two women next to me helped to dispose of empty bottles and they, like me, were just there to enjoy the day. After taking my empty bottle on the 3rd time, one of the young women said to me: "How about a tip?" I said "Seabiscuit in the second race." She responded, "Don't eat yellow snow."

There was a waiting line to get into the Hot Club. It went halfway across the parking lot. I had never seen that. Later, surrounded by a sea of humanity, I realized that there is quiet in the din.

It was Cinco de Mayo. And while Mr. D. couldn't be there I recalled his words of wisdom: "I go to an Irish pub on Cinco de Mayo and a Mexican bar on St. Patrick's Day."

Dr. John and I were taking about tattoos on women. Neither of us liked them. A woman walked by with her bare shoulder showing the 'B' that signifies the Boston Red Sox.

The HC won't allow motorcycles in the parking lot anymore. That hasn't deterred the bikers from coming, now they just park in the street. And truth be told, the bikers don't cause any problems. But the sight of several choppers in a row reminded me of the movie, one of the Clint Eastwood orangutan ones, when Clyde knocks over a chopper setting off a domino display of falling bikes.

The Herbster, who has been known to tell a story or two, told me that his friend once bumped into a motorcycle standing in a row with several others. The Bumper loudly exclaimed, "Whose piece of shit is this?" Herb said that when the owner stepped forward, the Bumper told him, "Mine is way better." Herb says that the Bumper then bought the bikers a round of drinks and soon all were the best of friends. That is if you believe Herb's story, of course.

My spies tell me that a certain regular was set up with a blind date. A girlfriend told the blind date that our guy was 'a little gray'. After the blind date met him she said, "It's all gray!"

Sunday night a woman was dancing to the Red Hot Chili Peppers' Give It Away. As she strutted her stuff, a male in her group told onlookers, "There's a party in her mouth and we're all coming."

Brendan was wearing a shirt that said, Jesus Saves, The Devil Spends.

The Victor told me that after reading my movie reviews, he checked out Rob Zombie's two flicks. He liked both House of 1000 Corpses and The Devil's Rejects. Vic said I should see The Night of the Flying Daggers.


Continuing what I started a few issues back, here is another of my favorite lesser-known gems. To Live and Die in LA has a pulsating score by Wang Chung, which parallels the fast pace of this action film noir.

Starring a young William Petersen (Manhunter, CSI) who relentlessly pursues counterfeiter Willem Dafoe, the movie never lets up on the gas. Director William Friedkin is known for the chase scene in his The French Connection. The one in To Live And Die In LA is even better.
Friedkin has a marvelous cast that also includes John Turturro, John Pankow, Dean Stockwell, Darlanne Fluegel and Robert Downey, Jr.'s dad.

In the DVD extras, Friedkin calls this his 'counterfeit movie' and not just because of the subject matter. The early scene showing Dafoe counterfeiting $20's is a classic in its own right. In the making of stuff, we learn that the whole crew could have been arrested for the counterfeit money that they made for the film and, in fact, the prop director took some souvenirs home and his son was arrested for trying to pass a fake $20 (with one-side!).

The chase scene took 6 weeks to film and was left until the end of the shoot. Petersen and Pankow were aware that if anything happened to them filming the chase, their scenes were already in the can and a movie could still be made.

The movie drips with cynicism and Friedkin has crafted a concoction that is at once exhilarating and sobering. This Machiavellian tale will toss you to and fro like a car careening out of control on a dangerous mountain curve. Hang on for the ride of your life.