Tuesday, July 25, 2006

The Hot Club

The Caustic Cutie (CC Rider) bopped in to the Hot Club. We were talking about amusement park rides and she revealed that she loves roller coasters - and cotton candy. She can tell the difference between the pink and the blue with her eyes closed. CC is a cotton candy connoisseur.

Our best wishes for a return to good health of Mr. D's mom Anna who has been very sick. And Tuesday (7/25) is Anna's birthday. We wish her well and a speedy recovery.

A woman was wearing a T-shirt that read, "Wanna see my favorite position?" Later I saw the same shirt and realized it read, "Wanna see my favorite yoga position?"

Foot Joy and I were talking to a smoking redhead who is a Yankee fan. She seemed knowledgeable and was complaining about ARod's 17 errors. So I asked her if she'd trade ARod for Manny. "Yeah", she admitted.

Bags was walking the city with the Wise Man who is running for Providence city council. A man (Bags swears he was 95) thought Bags was Wise's father! Last time, someone thought 5 Angels was Wise's son. So that makes Bags the grandfather of 5 Angels!

Hooks was leaving the HC and said to 5 Angels: "Keep in touch with yourself."

The Warden showed up with Bello, his Brussels Griffon. And 5 Angels brought Leo, his puppy. The Warden said, "Bello sodomized Leo. He got confused."

Contraire wants to buy a new Camry. He said Boch Toyota has none now. I told him to wait until the fall when the '07's come out and there'll be some at Boch because other dealers will funnel unsold cars to Boch. Contraire couldn't understand this. Foot Joy tried to explain and then 5 Angels. No luck. 1 against 3. But that's Contraire. Later Contraire admitted he doesn't know how to drive a stick. 5 Angels said, "I'm not surprised."

The Warden was talking about Al Lewis, the actor who played Grandpa on The Munsters. According to the Warden, Lewis, who was in his '80's, was asked in an interview what sex was like at his age. Said Lewis, "Like shooting pool with a rope."

Overheard at the Hot Club: "A rib is a poor man's steak."

Tom of the Grill asked me why I didn't drink my Pilsner Urquell in a Pilsner glass. I told him I preferred a pint glass because it holds the whole bottle.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

The Hot Club

Peter, one of the newer HC bouncers, told me that Toto's song Rosanna was written for Rosanna Arquette (sister of Patricia and David). Seems that Toto's lead singer went out with Rosanna. I'll always remember her for Executioner's Song and Pulp Fiction.

Victor was pondering on the perfection of a good beer when he declared "Beer is to a glass like … And when he paused I quickly added, "Like taste to the tongue."

Vic, Patricia and I were debating the merits of breast-feeding in public. I mentioned the recent Victoria's Secret display of motherly love. Vic wasn't sure that he should have to have it 'shoved down his throat'. I told him it was the baby that was having it shoved down his throat.

A guy walked onto the deck with a T-shirt that read "The Liver is evil. It must be punished."

Mr. D. and I were talking about people who try to make their troubles yours. Mr. D. said his grandfather had a perfect saying for that: "My cow died. I don't need your bull."

A young woman strutted by with a T-shirt proclaiming "You can't afford me." I told Mr. D. "That woman doesn’t have a heart." Mr. D. said he had some loose change for her.

Overheard at the Hot Club about 2 guys who have been long-time friends: "We just want to know which one of you is the pitcher and which one is the catcher."

A woman entered the deck wearing a dress made of some clingy material that barely covered her butt. I called it 'Butt Me Cover'. I asked Foot Joy what kind of fabric was in the dress. FJ said it was made of "Klingon material".

Welcome to Maye, a new addition to the deck waitstaff. Maye (pronounced Maya) is a junior at URI and is majoring in psychology. Should I warn her about Contraire?

A customer I had never seen before came to the inside bar complaining about the ladies' room toilet being clogged. She kept saying that she was going to her car to get a plunger to unclog the toilet. Contraire told her, "You have to go head first."

Contraire looked at the Falcon who swooped in for a rare visit. Contraire called the Falcon a nut. I said to Contraire, "Well, you're talking to him!" Contraire replied, "I'm talking to a nut."