Tuesday, August 14, 2007

The Hot Club

Tell them Willy Boy is Here or was here at the Hot Club on the deck last Friday. And with him was his brother, and our friend, Puckhead. Willie tells me that he is able to see NHL hockey in the wilds of Colorado where he lives with wife Kate and their horses.

Will, a fervent Montreal fan, has seen his local faves the Colorado Avalanche win 2 Stanley Cups (one with ex-Bruin Ray Bourque). So I asked for whom he roots when the Canadiens play the Avalanche. Will noted that doesn't happen much. When I continued to press the question, Will admitted that he still backs Les Habitants. Old ways die hard.

Willie said that he, Puckhead and the rest of the family, used to listen to the French language broadcasts of the Montreal Canadiens' games. They would put a metal pie plate on top of a transistor radio and pull it in. Will said that the signal faded in and out. I recalled using an alligator clip on a water pipe. And watching the Bruins games on Ch. 38 when you couldn't see the puck for the 'snow' from interference.

Meanwhile Mr. D. was just back from San Francisco where he hooked up with the Cisco Kid and then The Suit in Lomita (near LA). Mr. D. attended a reunion of the high school in East LA where he taught.

Mr. D. was wearing a ball cap, something he almost never does. It was a USC cap in honor of Mark A. Winston's daughter Nicole who is going to USC. Mr. D. said Mark, the fashion maven, had confirmed that it is now acceptable in society to wear little black ankle socks with white sneakers. And there was Mr. D. wearing exactly such footwear to start a new trend from California on the East Coast.

A cocktail beverage glass crashed to the HC floor. It wasn't clear who was responsible for this major flail but the Warden was standing near the broken glass. Puckhead yelled out "Cleanup in Aisle 4."

After driving in RI, Willy wants to print up tee shirts that say, "Where the hell did you learn how to drive? Rhode Island?

Contraire said he and 5 Angels went out to breakfast and a guy asked to read his NY Post. When Contraire went to leave, the guy still had his paper. Contraire got it back. He said, "The guy wanted to marry my paper."

Later 5 Angels was asking about reversible mortgages and I said that you were taking your equity out of the house. Contraire actually agreed with me. Then realizing what he had done, Contraire said he disagreed with me!

5 Angels was stunned by this mental flip flop by Contraire. 5 Angels looked at Contraire and said, "If he makes sense, he gets lucky."

Contraire spotted me taking notes. I explained that if I didn't I'd forget what was said. Contraire suggested my memory was gone and that I had Alzheimer's. I said that I didn't have Alzheimer's but I was retired. Contraire said, "I'd rather have Alzheimer's than be retarded." That's retired.

Later I thought I caught Contraire forgetting something. He said, "I never knew it so how could I forget it?"

Contraire is known for sticking close to Providence lest he get lost. Sure enough he visited Warwick and wandered around for an hour until he saw signs for the Warwick Mall.

5 Angels just visited Cleveland and caught a Yankees-Indians game at Jacobs' Field and he also went to the Rock N' Roll Hall of Fame. 5 Angels wasn't overwhelmed by the Hall of Fame much to my surprise. He said that the Hall didn't do much with the origins of Rock N' Roll. There was only a little thing for Buddy Holly and no mention of the tragic airplane crash, for example.

So I asked 5 Angels what he did like and he mentioned that they had great exhibits on the Beach Boys and Jimi Hendrix. But strangely they did not have a Hendrix guitar on display, a serious omission given that people fight over Hendrix versus Clapton as the best guitarist ever to breathe. And 5 Angels said there was no Paul McCartney bass.

Easy Ed lamented the late inning loss by the Sox. He said, "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me versus a frontal lobotomy."

The Bern stopped by with his lovely wife Linda. Somehow Bern got to talking about women who become men. He wasn't quite sure how that worked and if it worked. Mr. D. and I told him that with today's technology almost anything was possible. Bern wondered what they called it and I suggested 'penisectomy'. Chuck D Computer overheard the conversation and said quite authoritatively, "It's called Addadicktomy."

Lauren told me that she saw the beer bum on the deck of Kurrents after he drank the small kegs of beer. She said that when she came in to work Monday, the guy was visible (with his pants down to his knees) on Kurrents' deck next door. Lauren said Eben and Adam caught a glimpse too.

The K Man was talking about the Red Sox. He asked the guys what position 'Kevin Uterus' played. Responded Foot Joy: "Up the middle."

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

The Hot Club

Word was passed that new bartender Lauren wondered why I hadn't printed the beer bum story in the last Sportzine. It was because no one had told me the tale. Seems that a homeless guy scaled a fence and got onto the deck of Kurrents, the bar/restaurant next to the Hot Club. There he drank 3 small beer kegs that were in the deck bar. Employees found the inebriated vagrant passed out when they opened for business the next morning.

Later I talked to the chef at Kurrents. He told me that Monday morning they discovered the homeless guy with his pants down to his knees and soused to the gills. They take off the CO2 cylinders and the beer was flat but still drinkable. When the cops arrived, they knew the beer bum by name and said, "Pants down again, eh."

On a Sunday night there were 4 kayakers who left the marina heading through the middle gate of the hurricane barrier out to the Bay. It was 8:20 PM and it was going to be dark soon. While the 3 hurricane barrier doors would probably stay open, I wondered how the kayakers would get back in the dark.

Dr. John was talking about his sailboat. It's a 40-foot sloop but very slow. John likes to race his buddies' boats. John said his sloop is so slow it's like 'racing in a limo'.

A woman walked by us on the deck wearing a pink prom-type dress. I said, "Wonder what prom she's going to?" Chuck D Computer said, "Prom-Is-Cuous".

The Dos Equis promotion gals were back, including the blond from whom I got a free beer for knowing that the beer was founded in 1897. Whenever she walked by I had to restrain myself from yelling, "1897."

While talking to Citizen Caroline she mentioned that she wouldn't be calling someone back any time soon on her cell phone. I said, "You mean they're not on your spin dial." Caroline kidded me for not knowing cell phone lingo - "That's speed dial!"

Caroline noticed the guys on the deck openly checking out the women who walked by. She commented on how obvious they were. I told her, "Yeah, we're as subtle as a sledgehammer."

Tinker Bell flew into the HC. She's working at Augie's brother Manny's place - the Red Bridge Tavern. She's also studying to be a nurse. Would I mention her in the Zine? Sure.

A guy was wearing a black tee shirt that said Zombie. Was he a horror fan or into Rob Zombie? Or in Rob Zombie's case, both, as he has a band and has done well with strong horror in House of 1000 Corpses and The Devil's Rejects.


Having seen Eli Roth's Hostel twice, his sequel was required viewing. Roth wrote and directed Hostel Part II, which is good but not as good as its predecessor. The sequel is slower to develop with more time spent on character development and a secondary plot. In the first we had three men who were in peril, here we have three women beset upon.

Roth starts well by taking care of some unfinished business, so to speak, from the first movie. I won't spoil it by explaining any further. And Roth seems to have used some of the same sets as the first - the Hostel, the Warehouse. Even some of the same characters are back, like the Hostel clerk, and look out for the tattoo of the bloodhound. There is much more about the hunting club.

The return to familiar territory and faces bring back memories of the first film. So there is a sense of foreboding as we await the horrific fate of these three young women. Roth has one good plot twist and you will not forget the ending. Not for every taste. As Adam of the Hot Club said, he doesn't like Torture movies. If you like to be scared, this has some shivers. Lauren German is good as Beth. Bijou Phillips (daughter of John) plays Bijou.