Saturday, September 29, 2007

The Hot Club

Wednesday Hooks said that I misquoted him. "I buy more than one slice of meat", he said Hooks added that he buys a pound of meat and it's ham, not roast beef. But it is one slice of cheese every day. One Slice. And no eighth piece for a guest. There are no guests.

Foot Joy also chimed in that I had misquoted him about Joe Maddon's glasses. They looked like those on Don Lucchese of The Godfather, not Don Calcavese.

Someone broke into Bags' place and stole his possessions. He howled about it happening when he was at the Hot Club on a Monday. He never goes to the Hot Club on Mondays. Wise suggested it was because Bags left open a window and told a crackhead he was going to the Hot Club. I think Wise was kidding. He said Bags lost all his money - $32.

Ran into old neighborhood presence Bob Brown who owned Brown's Linoleum with his brother Skip after their folks passed away. Bob told of going to the Annie Street Club and local Pawtucket legend Hank Soar, a MLB ump, telling sports stories (Soar was also a great football player for the NY Giants). Hank Soar umpired a Yankees game when the first four NY pitches were walloped for four hits. Casey Stengel came out to the mound and met the pitcher and Yogi Berra. Soar was hankering to find out what would be said. Of his young pitcher Stengel asked Berra, "What has he got?" Said Yogi, "I don’t know. I haven't caught anything yet."

Someone had asked me last week what the JD in JD Drew's name meant. I looked it up but asked the regulars first if they knew. No one did. It stands for David Jonathan. And no I don't know how that gets turned around from DJ to JD.

A guy at the bar wore a T-shirt for a tattoo place in LA. It read 'Love Kills Slowly'. I replied, 'Love Hurts'. A great song done by many - the Everly Brothers, Gram Parsons, Emmylou Harris. I said I thought it was written by Boudleaux Bryant. I checked. Yup!

Grant's brother Glenn just came back from golfing on Martha's Vineyard. He was talking about some of the 'Old Money' on the island. He called them 'Crusty Cash'.

Mr. D. and I were talking to Grant at the HC door Friday. Alexander the Great yelled, "Grant gets all the quotes. He's an intellectual superstar". Later I asked Alex what that made him. He replied, "Grant's understudy."

A woman walked onto the deck with zebra stripe stiletto heels. I pointed her out to Citizen Caroline and observed, "She's going down". "No pun intended", said Caroline.


This is an interesting tale of Mayans in the 16th century dealing with death and destruction at the hands of a conquering force that is out to use them for sport, cheap labor, raping and sacrifice. The cast is a bunch of unknowns (to me). Rudy Youngblood is good as Jaguar Paw.

It follows one man and his family and how they deal with the horrors of warfare. It is a very brutal movie that bludgeons its victims and audience. Victoria asked me what I'd give it. I said "6 and a half". She gave it a '6'.
The film reminded me of an old Cornel Wilde movie The Naked Prey (1966) which Wilde also directed.
Mel Gibson (per IMDb) was once called 'Almost' as a kid. He didn't like it.


This movie is from the creative minds of Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright who wrote Shaun of the Dead (2004). Wright directed both that and Hot Fuzz. Simon Pegg stars with buddy Nick Frost back from Shaun also.

The movie has it s moments but it takes a while to get going. Like an hour and a half. It's only the last 30 minutes when the sight gags and dialogue really take off. Up until then the movie is more whodunit than whiz-bang.

The movie has a great cast (Timothy Dalton and vets Bill Nighy, Ed Woodward, Jim Broadbent and Billie Whitelaw) and there is a lot of humorous wordplay and inside stuff (probably more obvious if you're a Brit). I especially liked the use of music (Dire Straits and Crazy Arthur Brown) for effect.

This movie isn't as good as its predecessor but is worth a look and keeps you interested until the final reel when the movie really does become Hot Fuzz.

Sportzine and the Hot Club section are now available at

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

The Hot Club

Hooks told me it isn't 1 Slice. It's 8. One piece of cheese and one piece of roast beef each day. The Lovely Lisa said the 8th piece of cheese and roast beef are for a guest. 1 Slice.

Wild Willy apparently had the hiccups last week. I told him my favorite cure for hiccups. So instead of Wild Willy that should be Wild Bill Hiccup.

The Bear visited the Hot Club. Once in a while he gets out of his Cave. But he's had a cell phone for a while. I told him that I, the last of the great holdouts, had broken down and bought a cell phone. My daughter Cara is in college now in LA and Verizon users can talk to each other with no minutes charged. When I showed my cell to the Bear, he said, "I'm glad I'm sitting down. I'd have fallen over." I said that I had entered the Digital Age. Then I added, "the digital complex world".

The TV screen showed Devil Rays' Manager Joe Maddon. His black glasses reminded me and a couple others of Uncle Junior's. However Foot Joy disagreed. FJ thought he looked more like Don Calcavese in The Godfather.

Told Adam that I had seen the new version of Halloween and was disappointed. He said that if I liked action movies to check out Shoot'em Up.

A leftover from the Cisco Kid Fest - the guys were heading to have some fun on Ulysses' boat. Everyone was welcome but one little thing - they couldn't leave the dock. Seems Ulysses is selling the boat and didn't want anything to happen to it.

Overheard at the Hot Club: Guy from out of town says to woman friend: "You're the first person to make me feel like cheating on my wife."
Woman friend's response: "I don't know whether to be flattered or appalled."

Mr. D. recalled Portland and Pine and 10 and 2. It was $10 for the hooker and $2 for the room. I asked him how he would know about that. He said that they used to go down there but didn't do anything. Mike Module said, "You didn't partake." Mr. D.: "Not then."

The Lance just got back from Alaska. He said the men are big and the women too. Mr. D. said, "Half bear."

It was Fleet Feet Pete's birthday. He said it was his speed limit birthday - 55.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

The Hot Club

There's more on those 20 guys that didn't want to leave the HC a couple weeks back. It was a bachelor party gone amok and none of the Amokees wanted to go. One particular gentleman of the blue suit persuasion was especially AWOL of his brain. And as Broc was trying to usher out the now dis-invited, one guy sucker punched Broc in the back of the head. Broc's response was "You'd better get the f--k out of here". The varmint vamoosed. Broc showed amazing poise and self-control.

Turns out that in the scuffle, Broc's shirt was ripped and his cherished Yankee hat was thrown into the waters of the marina, never to be worn again. That pissed off Broc the most.

Conversation as told to me: Lovely Lisa to Bags: "How goes the front?"
Bags: "What front?" Lovely Lisa: "The dating front."
Bags: "I'm dating Tonic Man right here." Lovely Lisa to Tonic Man: "You're dating?"
Tonic Man: "I am what he wants me to be."

The Warden told me that he has finally figured out what he does for a living. He wrestles women. "I'm a woman wrestler for the state," said the Warden.

Later the Warden explained that he had had to break up a fight between 2 women inmates. He ended up trying to restrain a 200 lb. Latin Queen.

Friday we were all standing on the deck and Buffalo Steve noticed a woman walk by. He insisted he knew the woman and her name was Melissa. Sure enough he later got a kiss and a hug from Sweet Melissa as the Allman Brothers played on.

Frequent Flyer and Mike Module were talking about a woman that FF had met. He had her business card. Buff Steve asked FF if he knew the woman. FF said, "I only know her outside." Mike Module added, "He wants to know her inside and outside but isn't there yet."

The Cisco Kid was in town and Mr. D., Chedda Dan and Stone were around to celebrate his return. Cisco, Chedda and Mr. D. are Yankee fans so there was baseball talk. Cisco and Chedda said that the reason that there has been no public outcry from George Steinbrenner this season is because he's at the drool cup stage.

Wild Willy tells me that a HC regular has another nickname - One Slice.


Bacaro is the restaurant that took over the space once occupied by Neath's (262 South Water, Providence). Neath Pal's restaurant was Victoria's and my favorite place. Chilean sea bass and lobster and curry with Asian noodles were our delights.

This was our first venture to Bacaro. I called Saturday about 6 PM and it didn't sound like we’d have trouble getting seated (reservations for 6 or more only). We arrived about 6:50 and were told that there'd be an hour to an hour and fifteen minute wait.

We seated ourselves at the new bar which is to the left as you enter. There are now tables to the right where Neath's bar used to be.

The bar was nothing to brag about being small and rectangular shaped. The sides of the bar looked unfinished. Beyond our chairs there were more chairs but occupants were unable to see the bartenders because they were behind a solid wall. Not a good design.

We ordered drinks and chatted while waiting to be called. I had a Heineken and Victoria her usual - Johnny Walker Black. It was close to $17 for the two.

When it got to be an hour, I checked with the hostess and was told that we were one of the next two to be seated. Neath's seating was all upstairs, but I never saw anyone go through the door Neath used to access upstairs.
When it got to be an hour and a half, I told the hostess that we'd be leaving if we weren't seated within minutes. I'd like to tell you how the food at Bacaro's was but we never got to sample it. We left.

So we went to a fine restaurant that doesn’t get much notice - the Blue Fin Grille. That's because it's in the Providence Marriott Hotel. In all our time of going there, we've had only 1 dinner that didn't measure up and that was when our friend Ab and his wife visited from Phoenix (sorry Ab). On Saturday night the calamari was fresh and delicious and the salmon excellent. Our first choice of restaurants didn't pan out but the tried and true did.


First off let me say that this film was a disappointment. I've seen Rob Zombie's debut film House of 1000 Corpses and his follow up The Devil's Rejects. Both were superior horror films especially House.

John Carpenter did the original Halloween. It is much better than Rob Zombie's version. I had great expectations for Zombie's edition of a horror classic. Where Carpenter was subtle and restrained, Zombie is brutal and barbaric, many times reveling in the violence. Zombie's Halloween is without a doubt the bloodiest ever. And this from a Gore Hound.

The cameras (Black and Orange units) linger lovingly over the blood and guts. Some scenes are excruciatingly painful to watch. Zombie seems to revel in the gory deaths.

The movie is not without merit and boasts a superior cast. However while Zombie pays homage to other horror masterpieces (like Texas Chainsaw Massacre), his collection of B movie kings and queens are only cardboard cutouts for him to slash, gut and cover with blood. Ken Foree (From Beyond), Dee Wallace (The Hills Have Eyes), Udo Kier (Andy Warhol's Dracula and Frankenstein), Brad Dourif and William Forsythe are all here. Even Mickey Dolenz has a cameo. Oh and Sybil Danning (looking very old).

And Zombie knows how to use music effectively - both his own and other old gems. However Zombie seems confined by Carpenter's original story even though he precedes it with a look at how Mikey Myers became Michael Myers.

Malcolm McDowell is Dr. Loomis, taking over the role that Donald Pleasance fleshed out so well. McDowell is OK. Pleasance was better.

The Coming Attractions were mixed with ads for Nike, Gatorade, and Nesquik. You had to watch the ads while waiting for the previews. They held us captive for 15 minutes. Of the movies coming soon, I have to say that David Cronenberg's Eastern Promises, with Viggo Mortenson, looked most promising. If you don't know the Canadian Cronenberg, he cut his teeth on some serious horror (Dead Ringers and Videodrome) and has since graduated to mainstream. Cronenberg's A History of Violence (also with Viggo) was excellent. Now if Rob Zombie will just return to characters he creates.

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

The Hot Club

Nice to see a return to the Hot Club of Wendy, who was accompanied by Billy 'White Hair' Johnson, who has also been sorely missed.

The Victor told me that he saw a Willem Dafoe movie that he actually didn't like. It's called Black Widow and he warned me to avoid it. I told Vic that Dafoe is the villain in one of my favorite movies - To Live And Die In LA.

Later I introduced Victor to Contraire, but by doing so, I outted Contraire and Victor pointed that out to me. I said, "Contraire doesn't care." Contraire replied, "I don’t' care."

Contraire said that instead of my calling it the Sportzine Hot Club section, I should call it "Total Lies".

Reports are that some 20 people didn't want to leave the Hot Club at closing recently Broc, Joe, and Big John had to see them out. Hey we all like to stay at the HC, but…

Chuck D said that there should be a society for people who talk too much, going on and on and on. Mr. D. said, "They should have a charter membership at the Hot Club. Men who don't listen. Men without ears."

Wise tells me there is a new cologne coming out. It's called Eau de Lou Commatta. It smells like burnt popcorn.

When The Lou was leaving the HC he said, "I've got to go." Wise replied, "Best news I've heard tonight." Bags chimed in "The second best news will be when I leave."

And Lou Lou wants Wise to buy a radio station. We were wondering about shows to fill the air space. 'Mingling with Mario' was suggested. The first guest would be OJ Simpson. FootJoy said OJ would talk about how to make a human Pez dispenser. If OJ isn't available, they want Claus Von Bulow. Another radio show possibility per FootJoy would be 'Fishin' with Fredo'.

The Red Sox-Yankees game was on. The subtitle scroll was running and Hideki Matsui was up. The had trouble with Matsui and spelled it 'Malt Suey'.

Hooks just got 2 new flat screen HDTVs. He said he spent his 'communion money'.


Well Mr. D. and I joined the Fab Sabs (Mike and Karen) Sunday night for Jimmy Buffett at Gillette Stadium. While I have Patriots' season tickets with Driller Killer, this is the first music concert I've attended there.

We parked on the opposite side of the road from the Stadium so that we could take a right onto Route 1 and head home to RI after the show. It was $40. Parking inside Gillette was also $40 (at least that's what they'll charge for Pats' games). And you can't get out of the parking lots until an hour and a half after events.

There was the usual display of Parrothead paraphernalia, though I must compliment Mike and Karen because their car was adorned more decoratively then anyone around us.

We had our usual Buffett fare - filet mignon and lobster tails. Thanks to Karen and Mike for our culinary delights.

Mr. D. had gotten the tickets online and we were glad just to be there. Any Buffett fan knows that the pre-event camaraderie is as important as the show. We were in Section 335. Mr. D. kidded about needing my binoculars to see the screens flanking the stage, never mind the performers on the stage. We got our exercise going to the seats.

Toots and the Maytals opened for Buffett. I don't remember him ever having an opening act before. I had told a young fan in the parking lot who had never heard Toots that he was in for a treat. Toots (Fred Hibbert) and the band went on at 7:30 and played until about 8:05. It was a short set but included Time Tough and Country Roads.

Buffett came on about 8:50. They shut off the beer lines at 9:10. I was literally the last to get a beer. These days Buffett does almost as many covers as he does originals. But Buffett has an unerring ear for songs that are just right for him. Brown-Eyed Girl and Southern Cross were in good form on this night.

There was a problem with the echo effect but it was smoothed out. And though we were a long ways away, we sang and danced to the music, which overcame everything else.

Buffett played until about 10:50. Our parking place helped us to get home at a reasonable hour - about 12:20 in Providence.


While Victoria and I were whiling away our time in Maine we watched a personal favorite of ours - Sexy Beast - again. The movie sports a tour de force performance by Ben Kingsley who uses every 4-letter word known to mankind. Kingsley's character Don Logan has been sent to bring Gary 'Gal' Dove (Ray Winstone) back from retirement in Spain for one last heist.

'Gal' and his entourage are cowed by the bully that is Kingsley's character. Don Logan won't leave Spain without his man. Winstone does not want to go back but fears Logan. Will 'Gal' stand up to the bully?

In a short time on screen, Kingsley creates a monster of a man that can't be avoided as he careens thru the landscape like a runaway train.

The movie benefits also by the presence of Ian McShane (Teddy Bass) who played Al Swearingen in HBO's Deadwood. In fact it makes you wonder whether McShane based his character somewhat on that of Kingsley's.

The director is Jonathan Glazer whose claim to fame (according to IMDb) before this movie was making music videos for Radiohead.

The dialogue is hard to understand at times because of the British accents. Gal's buddy Aitch (Cavan Kendall) is especially difficult to fathom. IMDb notes that Kendall passed away right after the movie's completion.

Other items from IMDb:
Supposedly the Kingsley role was offered to Anthony Hopkins.
Kingsley claims that he based his character on his grandmother! If so, wow! She must have been one Salty Old Dog.
The movie's tagline is "Sometimes it's hard to say no."