Tuesday, October 30, 2007

The Hot Club

It was Wednesday and the first night of the World Series. All the Red Sox fans were jockeying for position, getting seats near the TV. The Warden waltzed in singing, "Let's Go Rockies".

5 Angels said to me "The warden doesn’t know one player on the Rockies". So I asked the Warden. He knew two - Matt Holliday and Todd Helton. 5 Angels thought that Holliday played for Toronto.

5 Angels also wondered if any World Series game had been called before 9 innings due to rain. Foot Joy and I thought that there must have been some in the history of the game.

Later the Warden asked the Red Sox crowd: "Is Mookie here? Mookie Wilson. Bill? Bill Buckner. Is he here?" I said, "No, the ghosts are gone."

When things quieted during the game, the Warden could be heard: "Pizza for Petrocelli."

The Warden said, "Lugo is the only Italian on their team. He owns a pizza place on Mineral Spring Avenue. Julio's. Julio Lugo's."

Beau was kind enough to bring in meatballs, sausage and pepperoni that he made for Game #1. The Warden said, "Meatballs here. Balls here. Rockies. Rockies' balls." I added, "Rocky Mountain Oysters."

Broc told me that Augie started at the Hot Club before Marty. Then Broc admitted that he, Sandy and Augie all started within months of each other. Patti also thought Augie had been at the HC longer.

Mike Module, Mr. D. and I were talking with Citizen Caroline. Caroline said that sleeping on your back is best. Mike Module and I thought it was better to sleep on your side. Mr. D. put his arm around Caroline and opined, "This is the way I used to sleep." (Figuratively).

We were also talking about Road Rage and all the bad RI drivers. Mike Module said driving brings out the worst in people, who are in their own cocoon, their own world. They don't like it when their space is invaded. Mr. D. thought it was drinking that brought out the worst in people.

A guy walked by with a T-shirt that read 'Support Organic Farmers'.


Hey you know what you should do? Go out for Halloween and see a horror movie. However if you can't, here are 10 movies with moments of horror to please most fans.

In no particular order:

House of 1000 Corpses - This is Rob Zombie's best movie and far better than his current Halloween. There are things here that even creep me out. And that's saying a lot.

Feast - Clu Gulager's son John did this and we get the benefit of Clu as a grizzled bartender. People of all ilk, caught in a bar, being assaulted by god knows what beasties. Henry Rollins stands out, and the movie is fun. The intros to the characters are great.

The Return of the Living Dead - One of my favorite zombie movies and it stars Clu Gulager. Also here are James Karen and Don Calfa (the killer in Weekend at Bernie's).
Zombies who talk - "Brains. Need brains."

Ravenous - Guy Pearce and Robert Carlyle chew up the screen and each other in one of the bloodiest westerns ever.

Dog Soldiers - One of my favorite low budget gems. I got this for $4.99 at Borders. Soldiers are barricaded in a farmhouse, being attacked by werewolves. They bite back.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003) - This recent remake is almost as good as the original. Jessica Biel is excellent as is R. Lee Ermey.

Frankenhooker - Frank Henenlotter (Basket Case) grabbed James Lorinz, who stole the screen in Street Trash, and gave him a lab and a power drill. The rest is history. This is mostly comedy but the opening qualifies. A fine Psychotronic film.

Aliens - Not sure how many times I've seen this. It's as good as the original. James Cameron has fun with lots of creatures and Ripley (Sigourney Weaver) kicking alien ass.

Carrie - Still Brian DePalma's best movie (Victoria likes Dressed to Kill). It benefits from the cast, especially Sissy Spacek. Don't fool with Mother Nature - Never mind that, don't fool with Carrie.

Dead Alive - This is Peter Jackson (Lord of the Rings) at his gory best. Beware the Sumatran rat monkey. And start up the lawn mower.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

The Hot Club

Contraire made a rare appearance at the Hot Club Wednesday. He recently fell off a ladder while prepping his house for a paint job. Contraire suffered a broken rib and fractured pelvis. We were glad to welcome Contraire back to the HC.

Wise asked Contraire if he had fallen from a 3-foot ladder, Contraire indignantly responded that it was a 6-foot ladder. Contraire said he was on the corporate ladder to success. Wise pointed out that he had fallen off that ladder. Contraire said that he was doing aerobics at the top and "I took a dive." Foot Joy responded, "Now that I believe."

So Wise recalled a time that he was using a ladder three stories up. He was on the roof of the house and slipped. He kicked the ladder, slid off the roof and just managed to grab the wooden gutter. Wise said he held on for dear life until the guy on the ground put the ladder back up and he was able to get down.

So The Bear, who had come out of his cave to visit, asked Wise if he was using a wooden ladder. Wise said, "How old do you think I am? It was an aluminum ladder."

Later Wise said that Contraire, who luckily fell on grass, hurt himself because he has brittle bones. Wise added, "He's not an athlete." So I asked, "Wasn't he the team manager of the Mt. Carmel Midgets team?" "No", said Wise, "he was the water boy."

A warm welcome to new bartender Avery who got her baptism by fire on Wednesday.

Regarding the Grande Dames of the Hot Club (Sandy, Patti and Britt), Beau pointed out to me that he started working at the Hot Club just before Patti. And his brother Broc began at the HC one year before that. But Beau thinks that Augie may be the longest tenured employee of the Hot Club. Beau wasn't sure who started first - Augie or Sandy.

Fleet Feet Pete was telling me I should try a typing program to improve my word processing skills. Peter said, "Even old dogs like you can learn new tricks." Piped up The Bear, "And you are old. And yes you are a dog." "Hey some friend," I said. "You're supposed to be defending me."

The Warden stopped by. He didn't stay long. Said he had to store his nuts for the winter.

Inquiring Minds want to know who has the longest tenure amongst the HC's male employees. Eben thought Marty and Beau thinks its Augie. We'll find out.


These movies were released under the Grindhouse moniker by Robert Rodriguez and his buddy Quentin Tarantino. The movies are an attempt to return to yesteryear when we went to drive-in theaters (the Rustic is still open) or to the twin bill Saturday matinees. Both movies bear 'film scratches' like the nicked up copies we saw as kids. There are artificial picture jumps, end of reel x's and o's, a celluloid burn and even a 'missing reel'. We won't reveal in which movie the latter occurs.

Planet Terror is the better of the two. It has a 'Prevue of Coming Attractions' and a great fake trailer for a 'movie' starring' Danny Trejo (long-time B actor) called Machete. It will knock your socks off and get you laughing. It also is the perfect intro for Planet Terror, which is as over the top a movie as you'll see.

Robert Rodriguez directed Planet Terror, which is a great sendup of the action/horror movies. Ruth McGowan (who's also in Deathproof) stands out as a zombie victim who loses a leg but gains pluck. Her swinging savior is Freddy Rodriguez (of 6 Feet Under fame), who is short but stout in battle.

Director/Writer/Producer Robert Rodriguez was so taken with Ruth McGowan's performance that he has since taken up with her.

The rest of the cast is excellent with Michael Biehn (The Terminator, Aliens), Jeff Fahey (The Lawnmower Man), Michael Parks (Then Came Bronson), and a surprise cameo by Bruce Willis. Quentin Tarantino also has a small role as a sicko intent on having sex with McGowan. There is also an effective performance by Stacy Ferguson ('Fergie') of Black-Eyed Peas. I also liked the woman who played Dr. Block (Marley Shelton)

This movie has a bit of everything - actually make that a surfeit of everything - gore, violence, sex (the scene with Tarantino is beyond belief) and cheesy dialogue. There's even some nudity.

This movie was great fun and I expect to return to it many times. Interestingly, I rented it and watched it Wednesday afternoon. That night Eben brought in Planet Terror, which he had just bought, and played it at the Hot Club. The patrons were suitably impressed.

On the other hand, I found Quentin Tarantino's entry in the Twin Bill, Deathproof, to be disappointing. There's a lot of female talking as we eavesdrop on some characters who aren't all that interesting other than their frankness. The dialogue comes off as macho male delivered by damsels in distress. With each other. With Stunt Man Mike, Kurt Russell, looking anything but a pretty boy. More like Snake Plissken.

The whole setup is to stage a wonderful battle between two cars and two carloads of loonies. Tarantino tries to make the cars the stars but his adulation doesn’t quite carry over to this viewer who has seen his share of car chases and crashes. That said, it was some kind of perverse fun which just took too long to begin.
Rent Planet Terror which may be Rodriguez's best work since El Mariachi. You can skip Tarantino's weak effort which isn't up to his usual snuff (Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction, Jackie Brown)

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

The Hot Club

Congratulations to Sandy whose last day at the Hot Club was Friday, October 12. Sandy is the Grande Dame of Bartenders at the Hot Club having worked there since 1985. The Hot Club opened in 1983. Sandy finished her studies at CCRI and is now a RN. We salute Sandy and wish her good luck in her new enterprise as a nurse. And it was thoughtful of Britt to get a chocolate cake for Sandy's last shift.

So who is the new Grande Dame of the Hot Club? Is it Britt or is it Patti? Patti - by one year. All salute the new Grande Dame: Patti.

There was a picture of Mike Solomon on the column next to the inside bar. It was from a Providence City Council meeting. Michael is making a point and the caption reads: "Don't make me put some South in your Mouth." What culprit put up the photo and funny caption? Inquiring minds want to know.

The Jack of Fire helped me pass out the Sportzine at the HC. However Jack wanted .05¢ a copy for distributing it. The Zine is not a moneymaker.

Good luck also goes out to Grant who graced the door at the Hot Club for some good time but who is moving on. We wish Grant the best in whatever endeavors he pursues. Grant told me that the suction cups you shoot at dumb drivers have flags that say 'Stupid'. The cops pull over cars covered with the cups - for stupid behavior.

Grant recalled a character from The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show - Kirby Durwood. In real life there was a Durwood Kirby (who was Gary Moore's announcer/sidekick). Durwood got his dander up and sued Jay Ward. Ward and gang loved the free publicity.

And get well wishes go out to Contraire who hurt himself in a fall from a ladder. It hasn't seemed like the old Hot Club without him. It also has been a lot quieter. Chin don, Mike.

Overheard at the Hot Club: Woman about man who has a way with women: "I want to see him work his magic." The Man: "Call me David Copperfield."

Red Sox fans and Yankee fans should know that there's a picture out there of Mr. D. wearing a Red Sox hat and a Cleveland Indians jersey. We can thank Ohoian Ken Arnold for it. Go to: http://dtrain2003.football.sportsline.com/ . Mr. D. was a good sport about it.

Breaking News - Mr. D. won D Train's NFL Pool again (with 2 others) and is in 1st place.

Does Jesse have operatic talents? Word is that he does.

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

The Hot Club

Mike Module asked me if I was rooting for the Yankees to beat Cleveland so they could face the Red Sox. My response: "Oh, no, not me. I'd rather have them lose. If they aren't good enough to get there, that's fine with me."

It was the Angels' 9th inning and Josh Beckett gave up a 2-out hit to Vlad Guerrero. Bob Brown's voice boomed out: "Pull the bum!"

Speaking of Bob, he admitted that the Ford he owned as a kid (see E-Mail) was bought with his blueberry money. $500 for the car and $75 for insurance. Someone ratted him about using the blueberry money. Bob says they did a forensic audit on the blueberry money.

Mr. D. won (actually co-won) D Train's NFL pool a couple weeks back. Congrats Mr. D.

Sox fan Theda Bara made a rare appearance. I asked her where she's been. Theda Bara said she went to the Hot Club to find a guy. She found a guy but not at the Hot Club. Now she doesn’t have to hang around the HC.

I was talking to Grant about Michael Corrente making horror movies based on ideas from Rhode Islanders. I said that I had an idea about a guy who killed people driving while talking on cell phones. Grant said Gallagher, the comedian, had the right idea. Shoot suction cups at bad drivers and let the police pull over the cars that were covered.

A woman walked by with a T-shirt that read: "The Joy that Bling can Bring."

Some young women strolled in. I observed to Bags, "The Utes of America." Added Bags, "And it's wasted on the youth."

Someone mentioned when I used to have my multi-media parties. I'd have 3 or 4 TV sets on with the sound off. Each screen showed a different sporting event. And music was playing on the sound system. I told Citizen Caroline that back then I only had 'guy food' for those parties - potato chips and peanuts. That changed when I got a girlfriend and found out that women require real food.

A woman in heels walked down the deck and got her heel caught in a crack. She tripped, lunged forward but righted herself before falling. I said, "That's what I call a major flail."

And the Friends of Mike Solomon are having a fete for him at the Hi Hat on Tuesday October 16 from 6-8 PM.


Victoria and I got to sample the fare at Mike Sears' new restaurant, Loie Fuller (1455 Westminster St., Prov. - 273-4375). Mike owns Lili Marlene's a fine bar on the Hill (422 Atwells) near Holy Ghost Church. Mike used to work at Lupo's, the Met and the Hot Club. If our visit is any measure, Mike has a winner on his hands with his new eatery.

Loie Fuller's is only identified by the LF on the door so you need to know the address. And it's the Westminster on the other side of the highway (i.e. not in downtown). We had heard that Loie Fuller's has been doing booming business so we opted to go on a Sunday night not too long after it opened at 5.

The first thing you notice is the handsome décor which has murals inside of carved wood that is reminiscent (for me) of Lord of the Rings (the Hobbit village) and the art work of Vaughn Bode. The colors combine to create a cozy atmosphere.

Victoria had a salad (Arugala) and trout, which was excellent. I had a sirloin that was done to perfection (medium rare). They even had Pilsner Urquell. It was a fine dining experience in a wonderful new setting. My compliments to Mike Sears and his chef. Victoria and I plan on a return trip in the near future. Oh and Victoria loved the kale.