Tuesday, April 14, 2009

The Hot Club



575 South Water Street

Providence, RI

The Wise Man pointed out to the Wizard that Mark Teixeira made more money in 3 hours than Wiz did teaching for the last three years. Wiz told me, “Dude, he made more in 3 hours than you and I combined made in the last 3 years.”

Contraire said to Fran, “Where are you going to sit so I can move?” Added Contraire to Fran, “You broke a record. You made a headline in less than a minute.” Apparently Contraire was his usual contrary self last week when Fran was watching the U Conn women’s basketball team win the NCAA Championship (undefeated season). Contraire got the bartender to change the channel. Fran was upset. Contraire asked Fran, “What are you wasting your time watching this women’s basketball game?”

Said Fran of Contraire, “He needs to go back to work.” I mentioned that I asked Contraire “Are you waiting to get called back to your old job?” Contraire said he didn’t want to go back. And he’s been at the same job for 30+ years.

Charlie Clancy said he saw Don Shula, Bobby Knight and Lou Holtz, all undefeated coaches, on ESPN. They were asked about the difference between today’s players and those of the past. Bobby Knight said with today’s players there’s too much individualism over team and a lot of these guys are in the limelight getting heavy media coverage.

Charlie (C squared) thinks that we should celebrate all 5 days of Cinco de Mayo. Cinco de Cinco. He suggested that the bartenders wear sombreros with chips and salsa.

A person brought up betting a parlay (you must win two bets). So I said that someone who knew a lot about gambling told me that a parlay was a sucker’s bet. Contraire said “Correction. Especially when you’ve got the Red Sox in it.” The Contrary One said “Put it down. You heard it from me. The Devil Rays have the Red Sox number this year.”

When I gave a copy of the Zine to Britt, she immediately turned to the last page – the Hot Club section. Josh of the Grill told Britt, “You went right to the last page. Jim writes about people like you on the front page.”

A married guy asks a girl for her phone number. She says, “You either want me to go out to dinner with you and your wife or you want me to babysit for you tomorrow night.”

Broc was drinking a beer called Rising Moon. “Rising Moon. That’s me coming out of the bathtub”, Broc said.

Sportzine is also available at jimdawsonsports.com (Thanks Buffalo Steve

Friday, April 10, 2009

The Hot Club

Channel 10 was doing a news bit about the Providence police and there was a female cop talking about her job. She looked familiar. They flashed her name – Nicole Darling. I remember a woman waiting tables on the Hot Club deck a few summers ago. Her name was Nicole. She had been in the Army military police. Her ambition, she told Mr. D. and me, was to become a cop. So I checked with Beau and he confirmed that it was the very same Nicole. CJ also knows Nicole and has stayed friends with her. So Nicole wanted to be a cop. She succeeded. Bravo, Nicole.

Someone was calling himself a moron or a semi-moron. I assured the person that he was not a moron. It reminded me of my Air Force buddy Mike Curtis who used to say “We’re not your average run-of-the-mill clowns.” To which I would add, “No, we’re your above average run-of-the-mill clowns.”

Wise and I were talking about learning from your mistakes. Then the Wise Man pointed out that it’s also important to learn from other people’s mistakes.

Who gets more impossible day after day – could it be Contraire? He saw me using my digital recorder for a Hot Club item. Seeing me recording, Contraire said “He does that because he can’t remember. He can’t remember his own conversation. And he misquotes everyone.” I interjected, “Not any more.”

Fran told me that there is a new marketing term – breastraunts. They follow the Hooters model. There are two different chains – one is Twin Peaks in Texas. I said that they stole that name from David Lynch’s wild Twin Peaks TV show.

Overheard at the Hot Club:
Male talking to a Female (Fantasized) – “Let’s talk about the first thing that comes up.” And “Sit on my lap and we’ll talk about the first thing that comes up.”

Who is known as Squanto and why? Look that up in your Funk and Wagnall’s. Er, Web.

After Fleet Feet Pete dropped his phone, and it still worked, Stevie Saucepan called him “The Timex Guy”. It takes a licking and keeps on ticking. John Cameron Swayze. Said Fleet Feet Pete, “I love to take those lickings.”

Stevie Saucepan held up a ‘W’ magazine and said “It doesn’t look like Bush.” He saw that it was Madonna on the cover and added, “And then I re-thought it.”
Sportzine is also available at jimdawsonsports.com (Thanks Buffalo Steve).