Tuesday, May 17, 2011

The Hot Club

Foot Joy took a photo of a sign on a door. Why? Because it read “If a man’s alone in the woods with no women to hear him, is he still wrong?”

Amanda, the Hot Club’s resident expert on horror and psychotronic movies, said she saw Thor and liked it. We also discussed Piranha 3D, which both us found very entertaining. So I told Amanda that I read there will be a sequel to Piranha 3D called Piranha 3 DD.

I kid you not.

Patti Q stopped by the HC last week. It was her birthday. Her friend Cheryl, who went to St. Xavier’s with Patti, met up with her. Cheryl’s birthday is May 21. Cheryl said that someone has predicted that all the good people in the world will go to Heaven on that date – May 21, 2011. So Cheryl said that she invited a bunch of her friends to a party knowing that they’d all still be around. Cheryl is calling it The End of Days party.

My brother Brad came into town and showed us a full page ad in USA Today (Friday the 13th) that May 21, 2011 is ‘Judgment Day’ because there will be a worldwide earthquake that day. The ad trumpets Harold Camping’s book Time Has An End and website familyradio.com. Harold thought the end would be in 1994 (1994?), but left himself with an alternative date of 2011 so he could sell more books. The ad starts with the quote: “MY SHEEP HEAR MY VOICE”. This sheep isn’t being fleeced and says “Baaaa.”

Saw Scott McKay and greeted him with “Great Scott!”

The Wizard says that Jacoby Ellsbury has the PawSox record for longest hitting streak at 26 games. The old record was 18. A Google check shows that Ellsbury has the record of 25 straight in August of ’07 with Pawtucket. That beat the PawSox record of 19 held by Dave Stapleton and Dave Berg.

One of the regulars has a new nickname–Jelly. It’s from Analyze This. Jelly, phone home.

The Wise Man presented the Wizard with a special proclamation honoring him on his birthday. Whoever did it for Wise misspelled the Wizard’s last name.

Glad to see Alexander the Great back at the Hot Club. The Grate One had a bad accident in which a dumbwaiter fell on him and broke all his ribs on one side (12), caused a collapsed lung and mangled his ankle. We wish Alex a speedy return to good health.

On hearing this, Contraire said to Alex: “You only broke 12 ribs?”

Gentleman Joe was in the Hot Club last Friday and said that he had to go shake hands with The Don.

The Hot Club

Not only does The Hot Club have a new toilet seat in the men’s room, but the booths have been paint brushed a new blue. The Hot Club is being made snazzy for the summer crowd. And there’s work being done on Bar 5.

The Hot Club as Hotel California – you can check out but you can never leave: Brothers Obasie and Bernard were there Sunday and sister Mary was still there too. The only one missing was Maya.

Chuck D Computer is back from China and had phone pix of dine out delicacies like whole squid, pigeon and duck eggs. The definition on the pictures was awesome for a phone (an I Phone I believe). Chuck ate donkey but not Francis the Mule. He didn’t speak highly of donkey meat. Chuck also had Sea Worm, which looks like tubular intestines.

Chuck and I were talking about the anniversary of Yuri Gagarin, the first man in space. It was after Russia sent a dog up first. I mentioned that the guy had to be small because the capsule was so small. Chuck said the guy had to like Milkbones too. Chuck said they also had a special arm that came out and it would whack you with a rolled up newspaper if you did something wrong. Not bad since he was coming off a 13-hour flight from China.

Voices overheard at the Hot Club: “Who has more credibility? (Gary) Sasse or (David) Cicilline?”

Foot Joy said that there was a woman named Barbara Leonard that ran against Bruce Sundlun for Governor. According to FJ, Sundlun made the remark that it was the first time that he had a blonde chasing him.

Bags had an upset stomach, and at some point he brought up coke syrup. My mother has always been a big believer in coke syrup. It used to be available over the counter but now is found only at the pharmacy.

Foot Joy mentioned that the Job Lot on Pawtucket Avenue used to be the Green Stamps redemption center. I once worked for Almacs and we gave Green Stamps with groceries.

Mike Module has a friend whose claim to fame is that he repaired John Cafferty’s vacuum cleaner. Vac Man said Beaver Brown’s Cafferty dropped it off just as his wife was going into labor. The vacuum was an Electro Luxe.

Chuck D said that Alexander the Great, who was seriously injured in a work-related accident, is better. We wish Alex a speedy recovery, and hope to see him at the HC soon.

Sportzine is also available at jimdawsonsports.com (Thanks to Buffalo Steve)

The Hot Club

Stevie Saucepan Hands told me he was ‘honest in his dishonesty’. I told him that sounded dishonest to me.

Wise and Bags were wondering where they’re going to hang out (beside the Hot Club) now that the Hi Hat has closed. The Wanderer suggested Twin River. Both Wise and Bags said they consider anybody who goes to Twin River to be a ‘degenerate gambler’.

On the dock below the marina side bar (near the doors), there is a No Parking Sign still attached to its post lying on the deck. For the boats?

Joking Joe said that he only comes to the Hot Club on nights that end in ‘y’.

Per Pal Al, fraternity brother Joe Machowski used to work at the SS Victoria, which used to be docked at the Hot Club. Al said the SS Victoria was sold and was going to Baltimore to be harbored there but sank while on the way.

I was telling all those who would listen that Kevin Youkilis, the Greek God of Walks (so named by Oakland GM Billy Beane) is not really Greek. A Google check (via Wikipedia) shows that Youkilis is Romanian.

Patti Quimby recently visited the Hot Club. She is into Facebook, which she called
‘Being in a bar in your pajamas.’

While getting a Smithwicks at McCoy Stadium, beer tender Terry (who reads Sportzine) told me that he and his wife went to Barrington College with Women’s’ Baseball League star Wilma Briggs. Wilma must have gone late in life because Terry is much younger.

According to Kirk Feather, who is a jazz enthusiast, ‘Zoot’ Sims was once asked about fellow tenor saxophonist Stan Getz. Asked what kind of man Stan Getz was, John Haley ‘Zoot’ Sims reportedly replied, “a nice bunch of guys”.

Wise mentioned it was a great career move by Elvis to die (at least for his estate). For the same reason, I brought up James Dean. Two of Dean’s three movies (Rebel Without A Cause and Giant) were released posthumously.

The Hot Club

The Jack of Fire said he was having trouble with vowels. The Wise Man heard Jack to say he was having trouble with his bowels. I reminded Wise that Jack had told us that he had a compacted colon, I mean compounded cola.

In one of those special Hot Club moments, the men’s room was the scene for this remark from Ponytail Bob: “The place is so tight, you have to step outside to change your mind.”

Dr. John took one look at my bandaged middle finger and said, “Bet you’re glad you’re not playing piano tonight.”

Dr. John was talking about the movie Battle of Britain (1969). He said that they were having a tough time coming up with the vintage aircraft needed to make the WW II movie. The problem was solved in part by ‘the Confederate Air Force’, a group of rich Texans who owned historical planes, including Spitfires. The one request by the Confederate ‘Colonels’: we get to fly’em. They did.

An IMDb check shows that many of the Messerschmitts and Heinkel bombers used in Battle of Britain were provided by the Spanish Air Force (some planes were still being used – the Spanish made them). Spanish Air Force pilots flew these planes in the movie.

The good doctor also recalled a showing of The Killing Fields to a group that included Cambodian movie goers. The film about war and tragedy was met with laughter by the Cambodian viewers. When asked what they found funny, the group revealed that the extras in the movie speaking Cambodian were actually saying bad things about the film.

I was busting Wiz about the company that makes his car of choice, Saab, being bought by some no name outfit. Spyker, Wiz said. Wiz went into an explanation of how Spyker makes high performance cars. Buffalo Steve commented that they did until buying Saab.

Still waters run deep or did you know that Mary, once the Hot Club’s chef, not only has her undergrad degree (Conservation and Wildlife), but is now pursuing her Master’s in Conservation Genetics at URI.

Stevie Saucepan Hands said he used a calculator and the Red Sox would have to play .641 ball to win 100 games. And that was before the losses to NY and TB.

Charlie Clancy noted that the Red Sox had won 6 straight opening day games. They came into Friday’s game 0 and 6. So Charlie said there was going to be a 7 somewhere.