The Hot Club

Chuck D Computer was talking about the Big Blue Bug on Rte. 95 and asked what its name is. I thought he meant what the owner's name is. Chuck said the bug is called Nibbles Woodaway.

Congrats to Chuck who just finished his run in the play I Ought To Be In Pictures. He did his last show Sunday and the play was well received. He brought along his stage manager Kim to the Hot Club to celebrate. Kim asked us if the Hot Club ever had 'live entertainment'. Wise and I almost simultaneously replied, "We're the live entertainment."

Chuck had been staying away from the Hot Club. I told him that he had been avoiding the HC because it was an 'occasion of sin'. That reminded me of going on a St. Raphael's Academy retreat and the priest in the confessional telling me I had to stop dating my steady girlfriend because she was an "occasion of sin". I did so. That was the last time.

Word has it that Hooks is getting 'hooked up' with an old friend from the past. He's having a mutual female friend act as a go-between. When we heard of this, the Warden told Hooks, "Don't mention my name."

5 Angels stopped by and since he's a big Rolling Stones fan, I asked him something I haven't been able to verify in a long time - that Keith Richards real last name is Richard. 5 Angels agreed with me that there is no 's' in Keith's last name.

The Warden was standing on the small deck lost in thought. A woman asked him what he was thinking. Said the Warden, "I'm trying to decide if I'll meet the woman I'll marry tonight."

Two guys were using the HC urinals, which are very close together. Said one, "Queer guys would like this. They'd be tapping their dicks together." Said the other "Yeah, a sword fight."

We were standing in the men's room line (it was Friday and they were celebrating Cinco de Mayo). Someone complained about the wait. Beau walked by and overheard the comment. Noting the line of women waiting for the ladies' room, Beau said, "I don't know why anyone complains about standing in line for the men's room."

Jay, who used to bartend at the Hi Hat, stopped by. He complimented Mr. D. on his ability to handle his tequila. Jay said he tells people: "There's a guy who drinks Sauza Hornitos on the rocks. He has a few and walks out the same way he walked in."

The Hot Club

Mr. D. wants me to remind everyone that he and his band Almond Joy are playing at Cher's Restaurant on Cinco de Mayo, this Saturday night (May 5). Cher's is at 86 Waterman Avenue, North Providence. It starts at 8:30. I hope to see as many of you as possible there. Ole!

And Patti Quimby would like you to know that Friday May 11 is not only Patti's birthday, but also her 20-year anniversary of working at the Hot Club. Everyone is invited to come by and have a drink (before 7 PM). If you do, make sure to say Happy Birthday and Happy Anniversary to Patti, who is one of the Hot Club's best.

Patti pointed out to me that after the flap about the Schilling bloody sock, the Red Sox were playing Baltimore and ex-teammate Kevin Millar (the team's court jester) wore red tape on his sanitary hose in honor of Schilling and his sock.

Fleet Feet Pete told me one of his mom's favorite Italian sayings, "Never bite the foot that stomps the grapes."

Sunday Erika (Fun 107) visited the HC and reacquainted herself with the faithful. Observing 5 Angels she said, "He's the Dick Clark of the Hot Club." His cousin Tommy and I thought of Dorian Gray. The Picture of Dorian Gray. 5 Angels just smiled.

Contraire and 5 Angels are going to Las Vegas. They were talking about some of their escapades on a previous trip. Contraire wanted to try out the Stratosphere which circled a hotel. 5 Angels bailed at the last minute because he doesn't like heights. When I asked Contraire if it were true that the two were going to Vegas again, Contraire replied "Who would go to Vegas with him again?" I said, "You would."

5 Angels' fear of heights reminded me that I too have issues with heights. I recalled going over Niagara Falls in a helicopter with my Mom. It was an open cockpit with no doors. I asked my Mom if she would sit near the open door since "You've lived a lot longer than I have." My Mom was a sport and did so.

I was telling this old joke: "It's OK for priests to date nuns now. As long as they don't get in the habit." A passerby overheard the joke and asked me "How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up as an altar boy."

Patriot Pat was called a FWB by Bags. She asked Wise what FWB meant. When she learned it meant Friends with Benefits she hit Bags with a rolled up copy of Sportzine.