The Hot Club

We were talking about Political Correctness. Nicole said that instead of telling children to sit cross-legged Indian-style, teachers now tell the kids: "Criss-cross, apple sauce."

Contraire saw Beau talking with Lauren. Said Contraire of Beau, "He's a womanizer. Whatever he has, I don't." Beau and I were stunned at Contraire admitting this. And as soon as he said it, Contraire followed with "I take it back."

Nice to see Neil Greenfeld and Mary Bush in the Hot Club last Wednesday. Neil was celebrating his 50th birthday. Mary was celebrating her new kitchen - a result of Neil's carpentry handiwork. Congratulations to both.

First Chrissie started doing movies and now Avery of the HC has been getting the klieg light treatment. Seems she was at URI for a role as an extra in a new movie The Clique. It's by the same people that did Mean Girls. A budding star in our midst - Avery.

Contraire was talking to a guy who only knew him by his first name. So the guy asked Contraire what his last name is. Said Contraire, "I don't even remember my last name." And he never did give the guy his last name.

Kevin On Fire said he had a co-worker friend who would talk about how poor his family was. The co-worker said that as a kid his parents couldn't afford mittens for him. So he went to school with a hot potato and then had it for lunch.

A patron was feeling no pain and called for a taxi to take him home. Contraire observed, "He's not drunk. He's just being himself."

Foot Joy told me that with Schilling hurt, the Red Sox are having tryouts for pitchers. FJ says that Debbie Clemens' fastball is up to 90.

Eric wanted me to let everyone know that Miriam Hospital and the American Heart Association are sponsoring a 7-mile walk on May 3. The Hot Club will have a team - Jen and Britt I hear. All walkers are welcome and there will be a sign up sheet at the HC.

5 Angels said that he heard Hooks has a date Saturday - weather permitting.

Two women came in on a Wednesday night and were surprised that the HC didn't take credit cards. So they went to the HC's ATM, but no money in it. They were ready to leave when a couple guys bought them drinks. Then a couple different guys bought them more.

The Hot Club

FLASH/SCOOP - Jim Dawson left the Hot Club. Yes, the Sportzine writer and Hot Club regular went to Meritage last Friday with Mr. D. However after awhile the duo returned to the comforts of the Hot Club.

Wise told me Wednesday that he hasn't been getting Sportzine lately. Foot Joy chimed in, "You didn't miss anything."

The Celts game was on. Hooks remembered World B. Free. Yes. 'Lloyd' until he changed it. As Hooks recalled World B never passed up a shot. I brought up Larry Bird's nickname for Kevin McHale - 'black hole'. The ball goes into him and never comes out. FJ said that as a result Bird wouldn't pass it to McHale until he had gotten to his spot.

Wise was reminded of Jack Sikma who had 'yellow hair', he said. Foot Joy said that Larry Bird once made a pass to Robert Parish by bouncing it between Sikma's legs

The Bear was in the house Wednesday. Good to see him out of his cave.

In a conversation with Alex the Grate and Sean, I mentioned being stationed in Turkey and sending home meerschaum pipes to my fraternity brothers. In Turkey the pipes were cheap - $5-$10. I told them meerschaum, which is German, means 'sea spray' and that oddly Turkey is one of the only places that you can refine meerschaum. So Alex got his dictionary from his car and looked it up."It's 'sea foam' ", he said. A white clayey mineral that is a hydrous magnesium silicate. A great smoke because the pipe is so porous.

Overheard and seen at the Hot Club: wild woman says to man while touching his scarf, "Is this felt? It is now."

Beau mentioned that someone actually blamed Wise for the Patriots Super Bowl loss! "Yeah", said Wise. "It was Contraire."

Foot Joy recalled 'The Newlywed Game'. I used to call it "The Divorce Game" because some of the questions could end with an answer that might lead to a divorce. Foot Joy says he remembers the worst question and answer on The Newlywed Game. Bob Eubanks asked a husband, "What's the strangest place you ever made whoopee?" Hubby responded, "That would be in the butt, Bob."

WANT AD - Hairdresser Desired: for Citizen Caroline, Julie, Nicole and Patti.

The Hot Club

Alexander the Great seemed enthralled with a young woman. So much so that he was wearing the woman's pocket book around his neck.

Obasi was in the Hot Club with his companion Shiona. I gave him a copy of Sportzine and Shiona said, "Oh you write this. I look forward to reading it." I thanked her.

Later after they left, I asked a couple people if they knew the correct spelling of Shiona. Alexander the Great said he wasn't sure of the spelling but as for Shiona - "It's not fair. She's pretty and bright."

Louisiana Steve was talking about the success of Peyton Manning last year and now Eli Manning this year. Steve said, "Archie Manning's sperm went from being worth zero to millions. Eli and Peyton's too"

300 was playing on the inside bar TV. 5 Angels said, "Sunday night movies at the Hot Club. Get the popcorn." The screen showed a young Spartan in training. 5 Angels said, "They threw kids who were deformed off cliffs." Contraire said, "They do that today."

Amanda said that sometimes patrons are rude and you feel like slapping their faces. But you don't of course. Beau said, "Slap Contraire for us. Slap his head off."

Kate is a horror movie fan. She saw a film with a young Jack Nicholson. "The Terror?", I asked. "Yes." "A horrible movie", I said. Kate told me that she didn't like the Rob Zombie Halloween, but did like his House of a 1000 Corpses and The Devil's Rejects. And we both liked House the best. I suggested she check out Stuart Gordon's Pit and the Pendulum, Roger Corman's Masque of the Red Death, and old classics like Bela Lugosi's Dracula, Lon Chaney, Jr.'s Wolf Man and Invasion of the Body Snatchers ('56).

For Sale - Ford Taurus station wagon (1999) for $4800. It's in excellent condition and has 45,000 miles. If interested, contact Patti Q at (401) 954 7888 or patriciaq@cox.net.

Chuck Doherty e-mailed info on the play he is in: 'Tony n' Tina's Wedding'. It's a PPAC presentation but is being staged in the Grand Ballroom at the Biltmore. Performances are from Tues 2/12 to Sun. 2/17 Show times for Tues - Fri are 7 PM. Sat. and Sun are 2 and 7. Tix are $65 and $75 and included is a baked ziti buffet and champagne to toast the 'couple'. There's a $15 discount on the weekend matinees and Tues and Wed. performances. Enter the promotional code 'actor' for the discount. Chuck plays Anthony Nunzio Sr., the groom's despicable father. Talk about type casting! Good luck, Chuck.

The Hot Club

Mr. D. likes to visit Patrick's Pub on Thursdays. Last week, he ran into one time Hot Club regular Dot.com. She was with Lou, a Bluegrass aficionado from Kentucky (Lou Grass per Mr. D.) Appears they both are swingalas, i.e. they enjoy dancing to swing music.

Contraire walked by and I asked him if he was going to do anything on the Super Bowl. Contraire asked, "Why? Is that illegal?" Well yeah it is around here. Contraire pointed to the Sportzine I was carrying and said, "This is a crime."

Errata: Last week I quoted Foot Joy on Dizzy and Daffy Dean. His response to Avery should have been "No, Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dumber". Foot Joy told me it made the quoter look bad. And that woman at the Patriots' media day who wanted to marry Tom Brady was dressed in a wedding gown not a bridal gown.

David was with Lyana, a nurse from Yonkers. David introduced us and told her about Sportzine. Lyana said that Eli Manning wasn't getting his due especially after the regular season finale against the Patriots. I said that I gave Eli his due - I said he looked like brother Peyton. This didn't satisfy Lyana who felt Eli was still being slighted. No more Lyana. After the Super Bowl win everyone knows who Eli is, especially the NE Patriots.

Mentioned to 5 Angels and Foot Joy about an excellent PBS series on Tuesdays at 10 about early TV. Each show has a theme - late night talk shows, variety shows, sit coms, and last week game shows. Merv Griffin made his fortune creating Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune. I said Chuck Barris helped save the ABC network with his Dating Game and Newlywed Game. 5 Angels said that Barris wrote Louie Louie and Palisades Park. A Google check of Wikipedia shows that Barris did write Palisades Park. Louie Louie is not mentioned.

Foot Joy recalled my favorite, Groucho Marx, who hosted You Bet Your Life until he told a woman with 19 children that he liked his cigar but took it out once in a while. Per Wikipedia: "One often-told story recounts the appearance of a woman contestant, Mrs. Story, who mentioned she had nineteen children. Groucho asked, "Why so many children?" The woman said, "Well, I just love my husband." Groucho replied, "I like a good cigar, but I take it out once in a while…The story has taken on the trappings of an urban legend over the years. Both Groucho and (George) Fenneman denied the incident ever took place."

Adam nodded toward the men's room and said there was some 'action' going on. Sure enough a male patron started to walk in but recoiled at the sight of a woman and a man in the rest room. They exited with sheepish grins. The ladies' room usually gets less traffic.