The Hot Club

THE HOT CLUB

WHERE HEARTS ARE ON FIRE
BUT IT’S NEVER TOO HOT

FOR THE DEVIL MAY CARE

575 South Water Street

Providence, RI




Becky showed me a website for canine birth control. Doggy condoms! Frequently asked questions: What sizes and scents do they come in? How effective are they? Can I train my dog to put it on himself? What about female condoms for bitches? What about loss of sensation? The site is www.dogcondoms.com. A tip of the hat to the Beckster.

One wag suggested that he wanted the job of putting the condoms on the dogs. Ruff!

Spike TV had a UFC bout on and Beau pointed out that one guy had a huge growth on his right frontal lobe from being pounded in the head.

Come a little bit closer to the Mike said he was leaving early to meet up with his in-laws. I said, “You mean your out-laws?” No, he gets along well with his, so they’re in-laws.

Frequent Flyer has a song for Peter and Mike’s band – Joe Nichols III’s song Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off.

Someone was talking about having a cat or a dog for a pet. Suddenly the Jack of Fire’s voice rose above all the rest - “If you want animals, go to the zoo.”

Beau had a T-shirt that read Let Me Drop Everything and Work on Your Problem.

Overheard at the Hot Club: “Who’s Patty Cheeseburger?”

Bags said he goes to a website called ‘Dead or Alive.com’ where they tell you if a star is still alive and his/her age.

The jukebox was playing and I asked Hooks and the Wise Man if they knew what group was the longest running active band. Per AOL.com radio, it’s Dutch group Golden Earring which formed in 1961, one year before the Rolling Stones.

And I told Fleet Feet Pete to check out Idris Elba in the BBC TV show Luther which began in 2010. Victoria and I watched all 6 episodes (of 2010) and loved it. I believe Amanda first told me about Luther.

The Hot Club

THE HOT CLUB

WHERE HEARTS ARE ON FIRE
BUT IT’S NEVER TOO HOT

FOR THE DEVIL MAY CARE

575 South Water Street

Providence, RI




Chuck D Computer admitted that he is not really into sports. Chuck calls himself ‘a sports agnostic’.

Mike Module grew up in the same part of Darlington as my brother Brad and I did. Slater Park was our playground, especially an area known as ‘Death Valley’. We use to have rope swings from the trees in Death Valley. Mike Module admitted that he was the one that shinnied up those trees to tie the ropes.

Was telling Chuck D that my friend Mo was talking about Catholic education and Mo said it’s not education it’s Catholic indoctrination. Chuck D disagreed and said it was a program – a program called Leave No Child’s Behind.

Come a Little Bit Closer to the Mike and the Jester were finishing their beers to go to band practice. I told them to ask Nimble Fingered Peter if he had any personal encounters with Jerry Sandusky when he was at Penn State. Foot Joy added, “Like in the shower.”

The HC jukebox was playing The High and Mighty by Dick Starbuck ‘Porno Detective’. That was followed by Lords of Acid with an album/CD called Pussy. A cute little pussy cat was sticking out from between a woman’s legs, right about the area known as p-u-s…

Frequent Flyer said he went to buy a bed with his friend Joanne. The mattress had a 20-year warranty. Foot Joy said “Aw you won’t even live that long.” Frequent Flyer said that when they mentioned the 20-year warranty, Joanne also said he might not last that long.

Charlie and I were talking about Heidi Watney and Jason Varitek. Charlie said that he heard it wasn’t Watney who ’Tek hooked up with, it was “Francona’s daughter!” (joke)

An anonymous source (‘sauce’) at the Hot Club said that they call the meter mollies ‘parking enforcement officers’. Who knew? Do I salute?

Mike Module said that sex began with The Leave It To Beaver show. The Module quotes June Cleaver as telling husband Ward, “Don’t you think you were a little tough on the Beaver last night.”

Fleet Feet Pete, Mike Module, Frequent Flyer and I were all in accord – we want the Patriots to play the undefeated Green Bay Packers in the Super Bowl and beat them. Of course the score will probably be 48-47, but, what the Hell.

Sportzine is also available at jimdawsonsports.com (Thanks to Buffalo Steve)

The Hot Club

THE HOT CLUB

WHERE HEARTS ARE ON FIRE
BUT IT’S NEVER TOO HOT

FOR THE DEVIL MAY CARE

575 South Water Street

Providence, RI

Charlie Clancy and I were talking about Joe Paterno, and the Sandusky charges. Charlie felt that Joe Paterno had gotten into a zone, a test pattern zone. Totally out of it. ‘Test Pattern’ Joe Paterno. I told Charlie that Paterno informed Sandusky in 1999 that he would not succeed Joe as head coach. That was 12 years ago, and I don’t think he was ‘Test Pattern’ then. You can’t excuse Paterno for his behavior.

The Hot Club was bedecked with Christmas decorations, including a tree with lights, and it was only November 30. Glad to see such good tidings. There is also a new curtain covering the right side of the dockside doors. Are the curtains to curtail cool breezes or to hide the smoky glass?

Foot Joy was ragging on me about getting old. So I mentioned to FJ that I tell Victoria that we are ‘junior seniors’. Foot Joy said he liked that and would remember it when he got to be my age.

Is that a compacted colon or compounded cola? And that’s CCJ.

Josh said to check out the video on You Tube of the 4-year old son of a Philadelphia Eagles’ fan, who is crying and saying he hates Tom Brady. And when his dad suggests that maybe Brady will throw a pick, the youngster cries, “No, he never throws picks. He only throws touchdowns”. Thanks Josh.

Adam and I were talking about what we had found to be good on TV. I mentioned American Horror Story. Yes, Adam agreed and said that’s his favorite show. I told Adam that I also liked Boardwalk Empire, but Adam doesn’t have HBO.

Charley Clancy said that there was more of a stir, more of a ruckus when Hazel Mae was leaving Boston than Jon Papelbon. No, Charlie didn’t say it. He heard that quote.

Fleet Feet Pete was talking about a track and field coach who got so disgusted with his team that he told them: “You’re as competitive as a jerked off dick.”

The Jack of Fire admitted that he was a spring training bat boy in Winter Haven, Florida, in 1971 for the Boston Red Sox.

Charlie Clancy and I were talking baseball and I said, “Go Cubs!” Charlie said he saw my statement about the Red Sox needing to woo me back. So Charlie asked how much wooing that would take and I said, “Not much.”

The Hot Club

The Hot Club jukebox was playing Cocaine, Eric Clapton’s version. I asked Fleet Feet Pete who wrote it and as he was searching his memory, Chuck D. Computer interjected that it was JJ Cale.

We got to talking about how cocaine turned out to be a dangerous drug as both Len Bias and Reggie Lewis found out. I mentioned cardiomyopathy (enlarged heart) and the irregular heartbeat (arrhythmia) that can result from heavy cocaine use. Chuck D Computer added that bad crack did in Rock Hudson.

CJ says that one of her customers, another Jim, likes gimlets. As a result, CJ calls him ‘Jimlets’.

There was a guy wearing sunglasses who was seated at the waterside bar one Sunday. We’ll call him Minimum. A bystander noticed money on the floor next to his chair – it was a $10 bill, and put it on the counter next to Minimum, saying “I think this is yours.” Minimum barely nodded in return. Nearby, Jokin’ Joe’s Jackie exclaimed, “He could at least say ‘Thanks’!”

Recently I had to thank Jackie, the bartender, who gave me a tip when I was first learning Sudokus, of which she is a Master. Sudokus have helped my memory. Punch line here.

Josh said that Burger King now is BYOB. At this news, I was surprised and then Josh admitted he made it up. Not a bad idea though. I once had German bier in a McDonald’s in Rotenberg.

Someone has a new nickname for a regular. It’s CC Jack which stands for Compounded COLA Jack.

Charlie Clancy and I were talking about this year’s PC basketball team. Charlie had a question for me about what a young team needs most. I said “Rebounding?” “No.” “Outside shooting?” “No.” “Defense?” “You got it!” Charlie feels that PC’s D will win them some games.

We were talking about past injuries and how as you get old, you know when a storm is coming on. Fleet Feet Pete was telling us that he had won some money playing horseshoes. So when Fleet Feet started complaining about his left knee bothering him, Al and I told him it was from playing horseshoes. Fleet Feet protested, pointing out that he was bending his right knee, not the left. So Pal Al pointed to Pete’s left knee and asked, “Is that your wah-wah pedal knee?

The Hot Club

THE HOT CLUB

WHERE HEARTS ARE ON FIRE
BUT IT’S NEVER TOO HOT

FOR THE DEVIL MAY CARE

575 South Water Street

Providence, RI




Fleet Feet Pete was in the House so I asked the Penn State grad his feelings about the Joe Paterno/Jerry Sandusky situation. He said he couldn’t believe it. He mentioned that it’s a tight-knit town many of whom are Penn State grads or connected to the school in some way. I noted that the stadium (Beaver Stadium) holds 100,000 (106,572) and that they may have trouble filling that stadium again for quite a while. Pete didn’t disagree.

Jesse, who is from Pennsylvania and whose family went to Penn State, said he was in disbelief when he heard about it and that Joe Paterno was involved. Jesse said that when he first learned about it, it was like hearing “that it was Santa Claus dealing drugs to little kids. It just can’t be. It just can’t be.”

The Jesster said that he knows a guy who played cornerback and wanted to go to Penn State. When the guy and his mom showed up for an interview they were told that Paterno was taking his nap and couldn’t be woken up. So the guy left and enrolled at nearby Pitt.

Jesse, who did not go to Penn State, but who was a fan, says he had a tee shirt that said Shit on Pitt.

In talking to Alexander the Grate, I mentioned that Victoria and I had just been to Asheville, North Carolina to visit my brother Brad and his wife Dee Dee. Alex noted that an ex-bartender from the Hot Club, Bronwyn, now resides in Asheville. I told Alex that when we were in Asheville, it was bitter cold with a biting wind so we ducked into a local pub/restaurant called Jack of the Woods. Alex said that was where Bronwyn works.

So I told Alex and Fleet Feet Pete that Brad and I did a mini pub crawl and after Jack of the Woods we went across the street to the Thirsty Monk. Peter said he had been to the Thirsty Monk and had a few beers there.

While in Asheville, we found out that a North Carolina senator named Jim Forrester had called Asheville a cesspool of sin. So the locals came up with a T-Shirt that says Asheville: Cesspool of Sin – Dive In.

Buffalo Steve, who used to work for IBM for 20 + years, brought up the fact that in the movie 2001, A Space Odyssey, the computer’s name is HAL. Steve observed that H is one letter before I, A is one before B and L one before M. I-B-M.

Josh brought our attention to a song playing on the juke box. It was by the new Mick Jagger band Super Heavy and the song is called Super Heavy. Not bad. Not quite the Stones, though

The Hot Club

THE HOT CLUB

WHERE HEARTS ARE ON FIRE
BUT IT’S NEVER TOO HOT

FOR THE DEVIL MAY CARE

575 South Water Street

Providence, RI


We were kidding with Britt and Charlie Clancy told me, “She could be a performer!” Britt overheard this and said, “I am!” And a great one at that!

Word is that there was a femme fight a couple Sundays ago. It wasn’t a fight over a guy – it was over a chair. One woman was trying to ‘save’ the seat for someone. A 40 something versus a 50 something. The throwing of popcorn was also involved.

Buff Steve and I were talking about Broderick Crawford and Highway Patrol 10-4. I missed my chance to use the 10-4 line when the Sportzine issue came out on 10/4.

The jukebox was playing Afternoon Delight which I said was by KC and the Sunshine Band. Alexander the Grate pointed out that the song was done by Starland Vocal Band. Alex said I was confusing Get Down To Night which was by KC and the Sunshine Band. Alex said that night is near the afternoon, but…

Overheard at the Hot Club: “Misquoted by Jim.”

Buffalo Steve recalled that Annette Funicello was from Utica, New York. He got to meet her at a USO club and got to dance with her.

We were listening to Can’t Find My Way Home. I thought of Stevie Winwood and Traffic, but Alexander the Great said it was Blind Faith. Alex was right. I noted that Winwood went from Spencer Davis Group to Traffic before Blind Faith. There was some disagreement amongst us - Mike Module, Jesse James, Alex and myself. Some including the Wizard thought Blind Faith came before Traffic and Wiz looked it up on his smart phone. At first Wiz said Blind Faith came first (’68-’69), but then realized that Traffic was first, broke up and then Blind Faith formed (before Traffic re-formed). Got it?

Well a Google check shows that Traffic was formed in April 1967. Traffic disbanded in 1969 which was when Stevie Winwood formed Blind Faith. Traffic re-formed in 1970 but again disbanded this time in 1975. Winwood, Capaldi, Wood and Dave Mason were in the original Traffic which released Mr. Fantasy and Traffic (w/Mason) and Last Exit.

Peter Gabriel’s Sledgehammer was playing. Auto Pilot Paul said the song was about sex – about a guy wanting to be a sledgehammer.