Tuesday, June 20, 2006

The Hot Club

The Cisco Kid flew in from San Francisco and we got together a few people for a Cisco Fest at the HC. Doc Proc was there as was Mr. D., Cisco's brother Jose, and later Cisco's nephew Brian. The brave Ulysses was supposed to be there but was sick (and not of us).

5 Angels dropped by too. Cisco greeted 5 Angels with "You're still a rock star" and indeed 5 Angels was wearing Cowboy boots. Cisco spotted an attractive woman and told him, "I thought it was a mural and then it moved."

Later I pointed out to Cisco a woman in brown form-fitting pants that defined every inch of her derriere. I asked Cisco if she was wearing harem pants. He said, "Those are hard on pants."

Contraire was talking to two women. He called me over and told me to tell Patricia, one of them, the best car to own. This was a set-up since Contraire knows I used to own a '86 Camry and after 214,000 miles bought a new Camry in 2002. So when I said 'Camry', Contraire told me that Patricia worked at a Honda dealership. She didn't know she was dealing with Mr. Contraire.

Not having learned my lesson, I answered Contraire again later when he called me over. Contraire introduced me to a young woman with whom he was conversing. Her name was Sherilee and she is a big Patriots' fan. In fact she is a proud season ticket holder and her seats are in 118 where Driller Killer and I have ours. But hers are much closer to the field (Row 7). She was an astute judge of humanity since she told Contraire, "You're not a sports fan."

Contraire had me give Sherilee a copy of Sportzine. She told Contraire that just from talking to me she could tell that I was 30% smarter than Contraire. When Contraire protested this, Sherilee added, "I might go to the high 30's."

Big Watch told Mr. D. and me: "There's an ass for every toilet seat."

The Herbster visited on Friday and noticing a well-endowed woman remarked, "Best in show so far." Herb also observed a woman wearing a gaudy gold and white outfit. Herb thought she had to be very itchy in the outfit. He said she must have itchy titchy.

A woman with a tangerine top that was cut low spilled her drink. When she walked by us, she said it wasn't her fault, that a woman had hit her arm. When she spilled the drink I saw the Caustic Cutie say something to her. So I asked the Caustic Cutie if she had hit the woman's arm. CC denied it and said the woman was nowhere near her. Bushwhacked?

Mike Solomon made it official - he's running for Providence city council (Ward 5). Best of luck to Mike.


As a fan of both these artists, this new CD is a welcome addition. Knopfler's and Harris' voices mix and mingle well. Of the 12 songs (50:35 minutes), Knopfler wrote 10 of them. Emmylou penned Track #9 Belle Starr and co-wrote (with Kimmie Rhodes) #6 Love and Happiness.

On first listening a couple songs stand out - Beachcombing, the first song, This Is Us, and Emmylou's Belle Starr. After a few times, I realized how great a song the title track All The Roadrunning is. And repeated listening shows that I Dug A Diamond, Donkey Town and Beyond My Wildest Dreams are also excellent.

That's not to say that the other songs aren't good. In fact, you may have different favorites. This is a strong blending of two different styles and voices. Some songs like Red Staggerwing and Belle Starr are much more country than anything that Knopfler has done. But Knopfler shows he can do different music with his characteristic writing and vocal aplomb.

Buy this CD. It has the Dawson Seal of Approval.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

The Hot Club

Friday we met the Heineken Light girls, Nicole and Yalis (Ya Lease). They were giving out Heineken stuff. We told them that Frequent Flyer and Mike Module who drink Heineken all the time should definitely get tee shirts (which they did). The tee shirts were gray with the Heineken logo. The girls wore white Heineken shirts with the green logo. Mike Module and Frequent Flyer said they wanted the shirts the girls were wearing - off their backs.

I asked Nicole how long she had been doing the promo work for Heineken. She said this was her first night. I asked if she had any more places to go to that night. Nicole said one more place. In Cranston. A place called 'The Grind'. Sounded more like a strip club to me.

Frequent Flyer was wearing a tee shirt that showed a plane on the back and his nickname 'Frequent Flyer' (which I gave him for the Zine) on the front. The front identified his as Captain.

Frequent Flyer (FF) had the tee shirt made up. He knows a company that will do it. I think they use ink jet printing straight to the shirt (no transfers) so the image is better and lasts longer. FF said that the company would make a shirt up (even just one) of anything.

So I told Frequent Flyer that I had an idea but wasn't sure that the company he knows would print it. I want a tee shirt with a headshot of Ted Williams and the caption "Free Ted's Head".

Bags had to tell me his 'classic': He was wearing a pink shirt at the Hot Club and spilled his cranberry drink all over it. After he cleaned it with club soda, the shirt was wet. He asked if anyone had a hair dryer. "Why are you asking me? said Foot Joy (who is bald).

An old HC regular is off to Russia. The guy hadn't been on a vacation in years. Someone wondered how you could pick Russia. Foot Joy would go, others wouldn't. Hooks said he wouldn't go to Armenia. I asked Hooks, "Would they let you in?"

Overheard at the Hot Club: "If it smells like fish, eat all you wish. If it smells like cologne, leave it alone."

Wise recalled the Dumpster Dolly. Spider Woman said she saw a woman at a bar who was overflowing and you could tell the color of her panties. Spidey said the woman had sex right on the dance floor with a guy. Someone said, "What guy would do that?" A voice responded, "Bags!"

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

The Hot Club

Good to see Wendy Johnson make a return to the Hot Club. We wish Wendy well in her graphic design work.

Wise was talking about a catering job where the person wanted the works but didn't want to pay. He said "Champagne tastes and beer budget." Citizen Caroline said, "Caviar tastes and tuna fish budget."

We saw a vehicle jockeying back and forth, trying to get out of a parking spot without hitting any cars. They wouldn't have made it without Russ' assistance. I told Mr. D. it reminded me of an old Candid Camera episode where pedestrians help a woman as she tries to parallel park. She crashes into the car in front and then the car in back. The helpers are horrified and their reactions are hysterical.

Some of the Kappa Krew made it to the HC for the return of Brother Joe Machowski who has been teaching English in Japan for 23 years. The Krew honored Joe and had a festive time. We all know now what the visitation rights are.

We were talking about whom you would invite to dinner if you had the choice. Victor said Clint Eastwood. Patricia wanted Ben Franklin. For me it would have to be a sports figure, maybe Ted Williams, but in his entirety (not just his head).

The subject turned to getting out your frustrations. I wondered if they still made bop bags. You know, the inflatable ones with sand in the bottom. You punch them and they bounce back. Patricia said she bought one for a friend but found it was too small so she kept it. It's of George W. Bush, and is on Patricia's desk. Bop 'til you drop.

Mr. D.'s birthday is July1. Mine is July 5. New bartender Christina's is July 17. She'll be 21. We'll be 60. Mr. D calls this 'our gun lap'. And Happy Birthday to Buffalo Steve whose birthday is June 10. I think he's 39.

Overheard at the HC (a woman about her reluctant boyfriend): "He said he'd rather walk the plank than walk the aisle."

I knew something was up when I saw John Dempsey all dressed up. And then I saw Meghan (looking pretty in polka dots) and Grant (spiffed up and sans hat). New bartender Amanda got married Sunday. Our best wishes to Amanda and her hubby.


The amazing Rob Zombie is back, along with his family of Marx Brothers' named murderous mutants. Mama Firefly (no longer Karen Black - now Leslie Easterbrook) is here. Captain Spaulding (Sid Haig in his greatest role), Otis Firefly (Bill Moseley), Baby Firefly (Sheri Moon Zombie, Rob's wife) and Tiny.

This movie picks up roughly where the other left off as cops descend on the Firefly house in retaliation for the death of 2 cops. The police strike force want to swat these Fireflies. Leading the avenging angels is John Quincy Wydell (William Forsythe), whose cop brother George (Tom Towles) was whacked in the first film (House of a 1000 Corpses).

Forsythe, who plays a great villain, almost steals the movie. The cast is strong with Geoffrey Lewis (from the Eastwood 'Clyde' movies), Priscilla Barnes, Michael Berryman (The Hills Have Eyes), PJ Soles, porn star Ginger Lynn Allen and Ken Foree (From Beyond).

Unlike the first movie, in this one Rob Zombie uses existing rock n' roll songs to good effect. Included on the sound track are: Fooled Around And Fell In Love (Elvin Bishop), Midnight Rider (Allman Brothers), Reelin' In The Years (Steely Dan), David Essex' Rock On, Joe Walsh's Rocky Mountain Way and the James Gang's Funk 49.

Some memorable lines:

"Ride the horse, baby!" (Captain Spaulding)

"You kiss your mama with that mouth?" (Geoff Lewis to Sheri Moon)"Trust me fella, that ain't the only thing I do with this mouth." (Sheri to Geoff)

"Don't you ever turn your back on a clown when he's talking to you!" (Capt. Spaulding)

This is another hit from Rob Zombie who knows how to scare an audience. He also delivers some priceless one-liners. My only quibble with it is the ending. It surprised me that Zombie would go in the particular direction he takes. But maybe Mr. Zombie has more tricks up his sleeve. This movie also had The Victor's seal of approval.