Tuesday, April 08, 2008

The Hot Club

Seems that Bags has a new girlfriend. Already the regulars are predicting a relationship of some length. Well at least 18 months, which is the line set by Wise (aka 'Ace' Rothstein). This reporter was told that Moe has the under. And then I learned that everyone has the under. Moe told me that Bags is "in duct tape."

Speaking of new girlfriends, Chuck D. graced our presence with new female friend Sue. He introduced us all to her and then went to get her and himself a drink. As Chuck went to the bar for the drinks, Sue hesitated and then followed Chuck. Mike Module said to Chuck, "We'll keep an eye on her for you." "That's what he's afraid of", I added.

Must be the spring weather (birds and the bees?) but reports are that Buffalo Steve's girlfriend is now visiting RI. Will we get to meet her? Will we see Buffalo Steve?

While I was talking about my walks in Slater Park past the Ten Mile river and the reservoir, Mike Module said, "I've caught many fish in that reservoir." Fleet Feet Pete asked, "Is that figuratively or literally?" Mr. D asked, "Did the fish glow?"

Citizen Caroline admitted that to her nieces and nephews she's 'Auntie Kiki'. And Julie is just 'Auntie J'.

A regular was talking to a woman whom he introduced to me as "my next ex-wife." He said the two were discussing future alimony. I said, "You mean post nups?"

Britt and Patti took in the PawSox home opener in the luxury of Moe's box.

Contraire looked at the Wise Man and told him, "You're the above ground counselor and I'm the underground counselor." I misheard it and said Contraire was the "below ground counselor." "Get it right" said Contraire, "It's underground counselor - big difference."

Someone from LaSalle High School called Contraire about contributing to a fundraiser. The caller said, "How about we start you out at $250. Contraire said, "How about you drop a zero."

I told a few people that I made it into the Pawtucket Times sports section last week. Foot Joy told me "Just say you were in the Times." Chuck D added " All the news that fits we print."

Word is that Hooks lit his fireplace - for just the second time.

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

The Hot Club

It was a Wednesday night and Hooks was at the HC. But it was raining. So I asked Hooks, "Is your car dirty?" He agreed it was. So I asked, "And if it weren't dirty, then you wouldn't take it out in the rain, right?" "Right", he said.

Chuck D. referred to the dreaded disease that can affect even strong men - Brewers' Droop. Its cousin is Whiskey Dick per Chuck.

We were talking about all the money Paul McCartney just had to pay out to his now ex-wife. Alexander the Great said, "She got a leg up on him." Chuck and I recoiled at the thought and Alex added, "I know. I'm a heel."

The Warden was let out for a visit. He looked around the Hot Club and proclaimed it 'The Dump'. Chuck D. said the HC is a 'recycling center'.

Overheard at the Hot Club: BOHICA - which means, "Bend over here it comes again."

Thanks to Contraire for bringing zeppoles to the Hot Club on St. Joseph's Day.

Someone mentioned that Contraire once had a girlfriend. "She must have been contrary", I said. Beau added. "Yeah. Contrary to Contraire."

Someone was talking about a former HC regular who liked to day trade. He lost $300,000, money he inherited from his father. Contraire observed, "Day trading. That's why he does it at night."

Foot Joy and I were talking about Bobby Knight, who has always hated the media, joining ESPN. "ESPN got what they wanted", I said. "Maybe he'll take down a co-host," I conjectured. Foot Joy was betting on Digger Phelps. FJ said, "Knight only picks on kids." "A true classic bully - and coward", I added.

Jokin' Joe said he told his class that there are 3 kinds of people: those who want something to happen, those who make something happen, and those who don't know what happened. A student said. "I don't understand." Joe said, "You're in the 3rd group."

Overheard at the Hot Club: Hooks took 6 months to paint 4 rooms in his house. He cleaned the brush after each stroke.

A woman wore a tee shirt that read "You're jealous because the voices only talk to me."