Tuesday, September 20, 2005

The Hot Club

Foot Joy asked me who was the 1st reliever to win the Cy Young. I said Mike Marshall. FJ thought it was Sparky Lyle. He remembered Graig Nettles referring to Sparky as going from "Cy to sayonara". I checked. It was Marshall in 1974. Sparky was in 1977. But the 1st reliever ever to win the MVP (pre-Cy) was Philly Jim Konstanty (1950).

Gave Contraire a 'Zine and told him he was in it but not for something he said. Contraire said: "It's the first time I've been in it for not saying something. Josh added, "Probably the only time you're in for not saying something."

The rain stopped and spirals dotted the water off the HC deck as fish went wild. I said, "The fish are frolicking." Mr. D. offered, "Or the rats took swimming lessons."

We were talking about the two doctors who reportedly wouldn't help a woman deliver her baby on a plane. The flight attendants did it. I wondered about the Hippocratic Oath to do no harm. Mr. D. said, "It's the Hypocritical Oath."

The Consigliere and Wild Bill asked me how retirement was going. I told them I was learning to deal with the stresses of retirement. Bill asked, "Oh, like you set the alarm for 8 and wake up at 7?"

The AM/FM radio on my '02 Camry wasn't working, just the CD/tape player. Mike 'Module' installs and fixes car radios. He checked it after explaining about its matrix and how one thing can jam it. He found my scan button was depressed. Fixed. Thanks Mike.

A confidential source told me he knows of a midget who beat up his girlfriend. The midget had to stand on a chair to do it. And the midget is a short order cook.

We were talking about New Orleans and I said it was a great place to have fun. Dave the Stock Mave said, "I think I spent a summer there." I said, "You think you did?" Dave told me he worked in the French Quarter, was young and didn't know about "Had enough."

We heard that Wise and the Wiz were arguing who has made more money - the Rolling Stones or the Bee Gees. Wise thought the Bee Gees. I agreed with 5 Angels that it wasn't even close - has to be the Stones. What with all the ancillaries. Only if the Stones no longer had the royalty rights to their songs would I even wonder.

The Warden said Mikey K is now Michael 'Armstrong' and he's doing the Tour de Cranston. Our best wishes for a speedy and healthy recovery go out to Mike.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

The Hot Club

We were talking about reunions with Buffalo Steve. Mr. D. said he tells his students "Marry a nerd." After the Glory Days of high school sports and class politics, the nerds rise. Mr. D. noted that many become musicians, join bands and get the girls. I added that they also become execs in Fortune 500 companies. At his reunion, Buffalo Steve was amused over the stars that had fallen.

Buff Steve used to work for IBM. "The 'Itty Bitty Machine' company", I said. To which Steve responded, "It's a Bigga Motha".

Obasie said when he first had a computer, he deleted some files he shouldn't have. He asked a friend to help him re-format his computer. The friend charged him $150. Obasie learned from his mistake and now works in IT (Information Technology). And that friend is no longer a friend.

Brandon was kidding Mr. D. and me about all the graybeards at our recent Kappa Delta Phi reunion. I told him some of those people were actually younger than Mr. D. and I am. Brandon said we looked the best of the bunch. Mr. D. and I had to agree.

The Jack asked her friend The Joe for a dollar to play the video machine. The Joe gave her two dollars and told her, "Here's two. Stay longer."

The talk turned to games and I admitted that I once lost 7 or 8 straight games of backgammon to a woman. I kept thinking I would finally beat her but I never did and finally quit. Now Victoria and I try to best each other in the Sunday NY Times' crossword. I can beat her some Sundays. We've also played Scrabble and I've never beaten her.

Because of renovations at the Hot Club, the inside doors leading out to 'The Office' were removed. With them went the sign 'The Office' that was nailed above the doors. Hooks e-mailed me to say he wanted the $3 he paid for the sign back. Neil told me that when the sign was put up, Hooks couldn't reach to put it up, so Neil had to do it.

Josh, the HC's chef/barback/man of many talents, has the same birthday as my beautiful daughter Cara - 9/9. Cara was 16 last week. Happy belated birthday wishes to Josh.

Joking Joe was talking to his girl friend about her ex-husband who has had some problems being responsible. The Joker said "He was responsible until the sperm hit the egg."

Mr. D. noticed a woman walk by and said she was one of the Lee sisters. I asked who the Lee Sisters were. Mr. D. said "Ugly, Homely, Motley and Beastly." Meaty, Beaty, Big and Bouncy?

Contraire is advised that there is an 'opera' band known as 'Amici Forever'.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

The Hot Club

A redhead was wearing a black and white dress on the deck. I remembered the question "What's black and white and red all over?" One answer: 'a sunburned zebra'. Mr. D. recalled 'a newspaper' and 'a wounded nun'.

A guy had two different things hanging from his belt. I asked the Fashion Police (well, Mr. D) why the guy needed two things, and he said: "Nerd."

My congratulations to the Lovely Lisa who got my e-mail about Stones' tickets in Hartford that were available thru my fraternity brother Jim Dwyer. Then at our Kappa Delta Phi reunion last Wednesday the Lovely Lisa was tending bar for us.

A woman walked by with an outfit and I called her 'Charo Jr.' Koochie, koochie. Mr. D. said he met Charo in Hawaii, where she lives. His students put him at the first head table at Charo's show and she came over and hugged Mr. D. and called him 'El Handsome'. Mr. D. said she was a very nice lady.

I asked Mr. D. if he saw Don Ho (Tiny Bubbles) when he was in Hawaii. He hadn't. I noted that if Charo married Don Ho she'd be Charo Ho. Like Rhode Island - Charo Ho.

We were taking in the deck traffic on a beautiful Friday night, the last before Labor Day. Mr. D. observed that the deck soon would be 'sans shorts'. No more flesh for fantasy. Mr. D. added, "A gay men's club again."

Phil on the Grill was on the deck that night, and it was good to see him back at the Hot Club. Phil and his wife have a 17-month old so he doesn’t get out as much.

The cigarette girl was around. It reminded us of Edie Adams, who did White Owl ads. "Cigars, cigarettes, tip-a-rillos." She was married to Ernie Kovacs. I remembered that Kovacs, a great comedic genius, died when his car hit a telephone pole. Steve said the car was a Corvair and it was just before Ralph Nader warned people about Corvairs. Didn't Nader warn people about a Ford rather than a Chevy?

We were talking about the Vietnam War. When I was in the Air Force, I had a poster of Arlington National Cemetery in my room. It was captioned "We are the unwilling, led by the unqualified, to do the unwanted for the ungrateful." They made me take it down.

A woman strutted by on the deck. A "Strutter". Now who did that song?